Hi
Not sure how to go about this or even if the forum is what I want. I served in a UK police force for 30 years and during that time dealt with many, many difficult things all of which have recently returned to haunt me. Cot deaths, suicides, road traffic fatalities, work accidents causing death, dealing with armed criminals to give a few examples. I didn't know that all these things were being 'put in a box and the lid screwed down' by me until earlier this year when the lid eventually came off. I had been finding my current job role becoming more difficult and the amount of work was increasing dramatically and this had the effect of making me quick to anger, I became miserable, withdrawn, unsocial with family, friends and work colleagues. then I started to 'see' images of things/people I'd dealt with, initially it was a man who'd hung himself then other images such as the cot death babies, the man who'd been decapitated when a steam valve had ruptured at his place of work etc. I reached a point where I couldn't function properly either at work or at home and went to the doctor. It was then that I was told I was suffering from PTSD and as as result am now taking tablets to lessen my anxiety and I'm about to start counselling sessions.
I thought, believed I was stronger than this and could not be affected, how wrong I was. I look back on my time in the police and realise that because I was good at my job I was sent to more than my fair share of sudden deaths, to deliver deaths messages and to deal with 'death' in it's many forms.
I'm not sure what the future holds but with the support of my family and friends and the input of the health professionals I intend to beat this and continue to function 'normally'.
Thank you
Not sure how to go about this or even if the forum is what I want. I served in a UK police force for 30 years and during that time dealt with many, many difficult things all of which have recently returned to haunt me. Cot deaths, suicides, road traffic fatalities, work accidents causing death, dealing with armed criminals to give a few examples. I didn't know that all these things were being 'put in a box and the lid screwed down' by me until earlier this year when the lid eventually came off. I had been finding my current job role becoming more difficult and the amount of work was increasing dramatically and this had the effect of making me quick to anger, I became miserable, withdrawn, unsocial with family, friends and work colleagues. then I started to 'see' images of things/people I'd dealt with, initially it was a man who'd hung himself then other images such as the cot death babies, the man who'd been decapitated when a steam valve had ruptured at his place of work etc. I reached a point where I couldn't function properly either at work or at home and went to the doctor. It was then that I was told I was suffering from PTSD and as as result am now taking tablets to lessen my anxiety and I'm about to start counselling sessions.
I thought, believed I was stronger than this and could not be affected, how wrong I was. I look back on my time in the police and realise that because I was good at my job I was sent to more than my fair share of sudden deaths, to deliver deaths messages and to deal with 'death' in it's many forms.
I'm not sure what the future holds but with the support of my family and friends and the input of the health professionals I intend to beat this and continue to function 'normally'.
Thank you