FellowBlueberry
New Here
I've been seeing my current T for almost two years and I've finally decided that I trust him enough that I want to disclose my experiences with CSA abuse with him. I've had 3 instances all together, 2 were falling into the hands of online predators in my early teens which I know for 100% are real, and the other is a real life instance that happened around 6 that I'm not sure is real.
My question is, is discussing the possibility of it being a fake memory productive in therapy? Or is it better to just assume it's real and tackle it that way? I'm considering not telling my T that the third instance is a possible fake memory because I'm worried it won't be validated that way, I'm worried it will just be seen as an instance of wild imagination and disregarded. At the same time, I'd feel guilty and like I lied to him if the memory isn't real. I feel frustrated that there's no way of telling for sure, I wish I could know.
I'm going to vaguely describe the memory here. I was around 6 years old and my dad took me to his friend's party. I went to use the bathroom and there was no lock on the door. A older man came in and briefly assaulted me.
There's a couple points that can be made from this. My dad and I have never had a very close relationship but around that age, he would occasionally take me with him when he went to hang out places. This can point to it being real. However, I never went to that house again and have no idea to this day who that friend possibly was. I also didn't retain the memory in my early years which is weird for me. I have an elephant's memory, even with traumatic events. I remember learning how to read my first words as a toddler, it'd be very strange for me to forget such an instance as being assaulted. I have had few dreams where I was assaulted in a similar manner but these of course could just have stimmed from a false memory as well.
How have other people tackled this? Do you forewarn your T that is might be a false memory, or do you present it as definitely real?
My question is, is discussing the possibility of it being a fake memory productive in therapy? Or is it better to just assume it's real and tackle it that way? I'm considering not telling my T that the third instance is a possible fake memory because I'm worried it won't be validated that way, I'm worried it will just be seen as an instance of wild imagination and disregarded. At the same time, I'd feel guilty and like I lied to him if the memory isn't real. I feel frustrated that there's no way of telling for sure, I wish I could know.
I'm going to vaguely describe the memory here. I was around 6 years old and my dad took me to his friend's party. I went to use the bathroom and there was no lock on the door. A older man came in and briefly assaulted me.
There's a couple points that can be made from this. My dad and I have never had a very close relationship but around that age, he would occasionally take me with him when he went to hang out places. This can point to it being real. However, I never went to that house again and have no idea to this day who that friend possibly was. I also didn't retain the memory in my early years which is weird for me. I have an elephant's memory, even with traumatic events. I remember learning how to read my first words as a toddler, it'd be very strange for me to forget such an instance as being assaulted. I have had few dreams where I was assaulted in a similar manner but these of course could just have stimmed from a false memory as well.
How have other people tackled this? Do you forewarn your T that is might be a false memory, or do you present it as definitely real?
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