I have dated in my 20s and met some strange characters, had some near misses and lucky escapes and met guys who were ok as people but didn't know what they wanted and tried to drag out the relationship and have me stick around. I was assertive throughout and ended situations if I saw genuine red flags. My father was physically abusive towards my mother and they divorced when I was young, so I am particularly cautious. When I was 27, I met my bf and we got along so well. We had a few minor problems to do with miscommunication, his recent bereavement as his mum passed away and a few small personal problems to overcome but we moved in together. He is very caring and dotes on me. He isn't the most ambitious man and he often needs a push. I am the polar opposite in that respect, always keeping busy and not afraid to try new things but he doesn't like change and he likes his simple life and simple routine. He comes from a secure family and did not experience any chaos or abusiveness like I did. Back in my early 20s was raped on a date with someone I trusted and my bf knows this. I live with PTSD which is much milder now and bf is supportive. I haven't been triggered in a while but I do intend to have proper trauma therapy and sit down and talk about what happened and process it. Throughout the relationship I have trained in a new career, working and studying as I achieved my goal. We care about each other but for me, there isn't a spark. It's just safe and simple. But I wonder if this is ok? We have been together 4 years now and I am now 31.