Sweetpea76
Moderator
I understand that lashing out behavior is a symptom, and it is going to happen sometimes. I know that my sufferer wouldn't normally speak to me in that matter. I understand the healthiest way to handle it is to not engage and not take it personally.
The thing is, sometimes the stuff he says is pretty hurtful, and I don't care how rhino-hided you are, it is going to hurt your feelings. I don't tolerate name calling, but that doesn't stop him from saying mean things. His favorite thing to do lately is to treat me like I am stupid. Telling me I must be stupid, act like a "retard" (a word I disdain), I'm not bright enough to do XYZ, etc. He will also "mansplain" things to me in a snarky way which aggravates the shit out of me. I know generally he doesn't think I am stupid, and I know damn sure he wouldn't want to go compare college transcripts or IQ scores. He only does it when he is not managing his stressors.
Shouldn't he at least apologize for some of that mess aver he calms down? He used to be better about it when we were first together, but now it seems like he has the attitude that it's just what he does when he is stressed, and if I get my "panties in a wad" over it, then it's my problem.
The honeymoon is over I reckon.
So is it too much to ask for an apology after your sufferer lashes out? Or do you just let it go?
The thing is, sometimes the stuff he says is pretty hurtful, and I don't care how rhino-hided you are, it is going to hurt your feelings. I don't tolerate name calling, but that doesn't stop him from saying mean things. His favorite thing to do lately is to treat me like I am stupid. Telling me I must be stupid, act like a "retard" (a word I disdain), I'm not bright enough to do XYZ, etc. He will also "mansplain" things to me in a snarky way which aggravates the shit out of me. I know generally he doesn't think I am stupid, and I know damn sure he wouldn't want to go compare college transcripts or IQ scores. He only does it when he is not managing his stressors.
Shouldn't he at least apologize for some of that mess aver he calms down? He used to be better about it when we were first together, but now it seems like he has the attitude that it's just what he does when he is stressed, and if I get my "panties in a wad" over it, then it's my problem.
The honeymoon is over I reckon.
So is it too much to ask for an apology after your sufferer lashes out? Or do you just let it go?