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Is This A Panic Attack Or Am I Having A Nervous Breakdown?

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tah

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I have seen some other posts about panic attacks, but I don't know if this fits into that. All I know is that I thought I was losing it last night.

I woke up in the middle of the night and just started thinking about things, my past appointment with therapist and the future one. I started thinking about how and when all my "hang ups" started, about my mom, dad, my ex, and all of a sudden I just started freaking out.

It really scared me. I felt like I was literally jumping out of my skin. My heart was pounding, my ears were pounding, I was crying and could not calm myself down. I kept thinking over and over what is wrong with me? I did not feel right at all. It was like I was there, but I wasn't. I had to get out of bed and pace for awhile then I was kneeling on the floor for I don't know how long until I could calm down. I remember this happening when I was a teen but I always thought it was the drugs I was doing at the time. Now I am totally sober and it is happening again. The scary thing is when I was a kid I remember telling myself "It's ok just get through this". Then thinking oh my god there is something wrong with me I am completely going insane. It was the same thing last night.

My husband happened to fall asleep downstairs on the couch so he didn't see me going through this, and I haven't told him yet. I am going to try tonight.

These bouts seem to be getting worse. It's like all of a sudden I can't control them anymore. I am so scared I am going to be seen as going crazy and I don't want any of the parents at my daughter's school to find out or my husband's family. I am so scared of what they are going to think of me.
 
It sounds like a panic attack to me.

There are threads on grounding techniques all over the site. But you have to remember that:

  • There is nothing wrong with you
  • A panic attack cannot and will not kill you
  • You are, in fact, safe
  • You can do this.
Next time this happens, remember these things. Also, grab something like a pillow, a smooth rock, a small toy, anything along those lines and study it. How does it feel, look, smell, how does it fit in your hand?
Close your eyes and go over those things again.

Another grounding technique that I use is to look around the room and pick a color. Now count how many things of that same color are in the room. Now pick a different color and do the same. Even compare which color there is more of.

These are to name a few. I hope this helps!

Manic
 
Ugh! Horrible feeling. Do you get the sensation of falling away from the world and being enveloped in blackness?

Of course, manic is quite right. Its a panic attack. Its OK. Its something that happens and it is feelings. Feelings are not always to be believed. Just because we feel threatened by something, it doesn't mean we are in real physical danger. You cannot die from a panic attack and they do pass. They are a normal consequence of having PTSD. Its what happens and they are horrible. They can be controlled.
 
Agreed...sounds just like a panic attack...even the part about you thinking it might be a nervous breakdown. I remember going through that years ago, thinking...omg, what the heck is WRONG with me??? That thinking always made me panic even worse. It took lots of time to learn how to get through them and even now, I'll sometimes slip and just get overwhelmed, but...the good news is that they end, eventually.

One thing that worked well for me was getting a prescription for ativan. It's not a great drug to take all the time (has some addictive qualities) but is fantastic imo as a spot treatment for panic attacks. I actually took three (three seperate attacks) when I first got the scrip, but after that I found that just having them in my purse made me feel safe enough that I didn't need them anymore. For me, the anxiety around waiting to have the next attack was almost worse than the actual event.

I hope today finds you well. xo
Grainne
 
I think you had a panic attack, as well. I have had panic attacks for years, now, but none as bad as recently, when I started dissociating, too. I became numb, and lost my appetite totally. I NEVER lose my appetite, even when sick with the flu! So I really wondered about the nervous breakdown. Turns out my Major Depressive Disorder turned into Treatment Resistant Depression, or maybe they're both still there.

These bouts seem to be getting worse. It's like all of a sudden I can't control them anymore. I am so scared I am going to be seen as going crazy and I don't want any of the parents at my daughter's school to find out or my husband's family. I am so scared of what they are going to think of me.

Yep, how family and others think of me is a big worry for me, too. The "other gramma" is looked at as perfect, and I feel like a big useless klutz next to her, plus I know the kids told her about my recent breakdown. I felt it coming on for many weeks before it actually hit, too.

So, I'm wishing you the best!
skyp
 
Definately sounds like a panic attack. The first thing to remind yourself of is that you are safe, you are not going to die, it will end. Then unfortunately, you have to ride it out. If they become often or severe you can always discuss medication options with your doctor.

The first few I had - were horrible, now at least I know what is happening and can normally find somewhere "safe" (I've gone to my car or in a bathroom when out in public).
 
Thank you all for your encouragement. I kind of thought it was, but with all the other added stress lately I wasn't sure. I wanted to tell my husband last night, but as soon as I sa whim he went on about how he is all bummed because he isn't working and he is so down, etc, etc. So I ended up trying to be encouraging for him instead of telling him I needed his support.
 
That's very good of you to support him as well in your time of need. And I understand it can be hard/scary to tell him but remember that when you do get a chance, it would be a good idea to tell your husband. He could even help ground you during panic attacks.
Good luck, Hun!

Manic
 
I don't mean to sound heartless, but 'welcome to the club!' I think everyone agrees that it is a panic attack, yes they are scarey, yes, I am still struggling to deal with them and no, they are not the end of the world. I suffer panic to a lesser degree for the most part but recently had the worst attack of my lifetime which basically rendered me useless for a while.

No worries. We'll get through it.
 
Yep. That was a panic attack. My ex would get them all the time. He was socially very shy (clinically shy). Anything that had to do with "the squirrely public" (his description of what was -out there-) would make his heart pound and turn his skin red. I once convinced him to return a broken out of the box item he had bought. I waited in the car while he was supposed to return the item for a replacement or get his money back. He suddenly appeared half running out of the store, red faced (I thought he was having a heart attack). He couldn't go up to the return counter to complain so he spent the 15 minutes in the store going up and down isles until he finally burst back out through the front door. It was the first sign that finally broke through my dense brain that he suffered from panic attacks.

Long story short, we are divorced and he is MUCH better! He is way more relaxed but still quite shy. It took decades for me to realize that my outgoing style, and keep-going-no-matter-what attitude made his life worse. Neither one of us could face the idea of divorce. We couldn't even talk about our problems with each other. He was too shy and I was too Catholic.

I finally, after 29 years, got up the courage to face the church and end the marriage. My ex has spent the last 5 years recovering and is doing quite well.

For heaven's sake, talk to your husband! Tell him about your panic attacks.
 
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