I have seen some other posts about panic attacks, but I don't know if this fits into that. All I know is that I thought I was losing it last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night and just started thinking about things, my past appointment with therapist and the future one. I started thinking about how and when all my "hang ups" started, about my mom, dad, my ex, and all of a sudden I just started freaking out.
It really scared me. I felt like I was literally jumping out of my skin. My heart was pounding, my ears were pounding, I was crying and could not calm myself down. I kept thinking over and over what is wrong with me? I did not feel right at all. It was like I was there, but I wasn't. I had to get out of bed and pace for awhile then I was kneeling on the floor for I don't know how long until I could calm down. I remember this happening when I was a teen but I always thought it was the drugs I was doing at the time. Now I am totally sober and it is happening again. The scary thing is when I was a kid I remember telling myself "It's ok just get through this". Then thinking oh my god there is something wrong with me I am completely going insane. It was the same thing last night.
My husband happened to fall asleep downstairs on the couch so he didn't see me going through this, and I haven't told him yet. I am going to try tonight.
These bouts seem to be getting worse. It's like all of a sudden I can't control them anymore. I am so scared I am going to be seen as going crazy and I don't want any of the parents at my daughter's school to find out or my husband's family. I am so scared of what they are going to think of me.
I woke up in the middle of the night and just started thinking about things, my past appointment with therapist and the future one. I started thinking about how and when all my "hang ups" started, about my mom, dad, my ex, and all of a sudden I just started freaking out.
It really scared me. I felt like I was literally jumping out of my skin. My heart was pounding, my ears were pounding, I was crying and could not calm myself down. I kept thinking over and over what is wrong with me? I did not feel right at all. It was like I was there, but I wasn't. I had to get out of bed and pace for awhile then I was kneeling on the floor for I don't know how long until I could calm down. I remember this happening when I was a teen but I always thought it was the drugs I was doing at the time. Now I am totally sober and it is happening again. The scary thing is when I was a kid I remember telling myself "It's ok just get through this". Then thinking oh my god there is something wrong with me I am completely going insane. It was the same thing last night.
My husband happened to fall asleep downstairs on the couch so he didn't see me going through this, and I haven't told him yet. I am going to try tonight.
These bouts seem to be getting worse. It's like all of a sudden I can't control them anymore. I am so scared I am going to be seen as going crazy and I don't want any of the parents at my daughter's school to find out or my husband's family. I am so scared of what they are going to think of me.