Just food for thought- where is his level of concern for you dealing with your mothers death alone?
When he's having a good day he can be very supportive, they are just few and far between. When he 'comes down' from bad episodes he can sometimes be quite upset at how he's treated me and how hard it has been for me to deal with that and him. Other times it's like the episode never happened. It's very confusing. I find myself living for those good times, and whenever I feel a bunch of resolve in the bad times to be firm, or leave, it's hard to hold onto when he's sincerely supportive or remorseful. But so few and far between.
You can call the hospital, now... before there’s a crisis event.
This is good advice, thank you. I'll see what I can find out. I'm actually in New Zealand in a small town, so I think we may only have our hospital, but I'll try to find out what else is available and talk to them.
I can't help but feel he's going to see it as the ultimate betrayal, but I suppose even if he never forgives me I'd rather he be angry than dead.