PreciousChild
MyPTSD Pro
I think 80% of my posts could fit under this thread. I would really like feedback about whether I am going way overboard, or if it's perfectly normal mundane niceness. I struggle with this because my parents used and exploited me so thoroughly that I'm always doing too much or running the other way because I'm feeling resentful and used. My nephews were visiting me this weekend. Their mom and I are pretty close, and I've been very close to my nephews. They decided to visit on their own without their parents for the first time because they're old enough. It was a big deal and we talked about doing it for years. This weekend was the time! I had all these plans for them, and since their interests are different from my son's, a lot of the activities were done despite my son or totally without him. I spent my entire weekend and spent a lot of money making sure my nephews had fun. I'm exhausted, spent more money than I have, and my son spent the better part of the weekend alone. But my nephews had fun, and they thanked me profusely.
I feel vaguely like I'm out of sorts. But I can't tell if it's because I'm actually doing way beyond what I should or if I'm just having a distorted sense of being used triggered. I do not want to be attributing triggers to my nephews, nor my son for that matter. This is my deal, but I do sometimes think I do too much for my son too...
I'm also having thoughts about my relationships. I do believe that my ex counted on me being there for him 150%, and began to push me away when I was only functioning at giving him my 120%. I'm just wondering whether I should be thinking of myself more or working on my triggers in order not to let my issues affect my genuine positive service to others.
I feel vaguely like I'm out of sorts. But I can't tell if it's because I'm actually doing way beyond what I should or if I'm just having a distorted sense of being used triggered. I do not want to be attributing triggers to my nephews, nor my son for that matter. This is my deal, but I do sometimes think I do too much for my son too...
I'm also having thoughts about my relationships. I do believe that my ex counted on me being there for him 150%, and began to push me away when I was only functioning at giving him my 120%. I'm just wondering whether I should be thinking of myself more or working on my triggers in order not to let my issues affect my genuine positive service to others.