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Is this dissociation?

Teasel

MyPTSD Pro
Thread starter #1
When you forget what you're supposed to be doing from one day to the next?

I am quite well aware of various things I can do that help me feel better. But seem fair unable to remember more than a couple of them at a time.

Sort of feels like trying to drag myself out of a swamp except for the only seeming to be able to remember one or two helpful things at a time.

I'm aware it isn't always like this. Sometimes I am more together.

But is this to do with dissociation? Or something else?

Thank you
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
#2
My dissociation is losing time. Big gaps of time that I have no recall of events or people I have interacted with. It may be different for others.

Maybe what is going on T is the great amount of stress you are under with health issues, a move date, the lockdown. Our brain just knows when to eliminate some things. And stress makes me very forgetful. I have to make lists and notes when I am like that. And oftentimes forget where I put the list. It can be very aggravating and stressful in itself.

Don't know if this helps, but be easy with yourself. You have a lot going on right now. Heart hugs
 
#4
I'm sorry you're going through this Teasel. I don't have enough knowledge to answer your question, I'm sorry. But I get what you're going through.
Sounds like being able to 'call' it something will help you, as you say you have strategies in place to manage?
Does naming it need to be 'the thing'? Maybe trusting your strategies and knowing it will pass will help?
Hope it passed soon for you.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
#8
When things get derailed for me, if I can use the one or two I can remember, that's a win. If my brain is already on overload, if I tried to do more than one or two things to ground myself, it would only make me more down on myself when I couldn't remember them.

Use the ones you remember T. That will be enough. There is nothing wrong with you, you are doing good to remember two!! This is going to pass as things become less complicated for you.

Might be good practice to be proud of the two you do remember as opposed to being upset because you can't remember all of them. Heart hugs
 

Teasel

MyPTSD Pro
Thread starter #9
Thanks @ladee I hate it when I can't think clearly.

All sorts going through my mind, for one thing I don't see things getting less complicated, rather more - life in this bedroom is not very complicated.

And I suppose I recognise this pattern - I start to function a tiny bit more, and am impatient to get busy living. But can't keep it up. Then round I go again.

But yes, pressuring myself doesn't help.but neither does giving myself a pass.

I don't see how I'll be able to get done what needs doing in order for me to leave. And that's been true for years.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
#10
And here is my 'BUT', but, you are so much more clear about what your needs are T. And it can be accomplished.

My brain hasn't been working for a few months now, and I totally understand that frustration of not being able to plan something without losing my shit along the way. Maybe we can put our fuzzy brains together and come up with something workable. And hopefully, others will come on and make suggestions. We can do this.

I've had to move house so many times by myself and it is very stressful. Moving house is stressful under the best of circumstances. Keep that in mind. It is upsetting everything that is familiar. Normies even get lost if there is not some planning.

First, check with your case worker to get her to see if the safe house will be able to provide health care if you have to have future surgery. That is first.

If they say no, then are you able to find an apartment? If that is not feasable, then you might have to push your move out date. This does not mean you are giving yourself a pass. This means you are taking care of yourself in case you need surgery. That is a legitimate concern.

And if you can't move right now as planned, then spend this time planning how to do this with the least amount of stress when the time is right.

When I left my Mr I kept having obstacle after obstacle. So I understand that feeling of wanting to get it over with and being stuck. So I just relaxed as much as I could and spent time getting my plan together.

As it turned out, an affordable apartment became available and I had enough money saved (because of the delay) to pay rent and deposits and have utilities turned on. I did take everything I wanted and needed from the house. I don't know what your situation is about that. So if you have to put things in storage, figure out how much space you will need and check different storage facilities for pricing. Keep a list.

^^^This being if you move into the safe house.

Do one thing at a time. Make lists. Save money if you can. Just start with that and see how it goes. If you start feeling overwhelmed, walk away for a while. Take your time.

Anyone would be stressed and overwhelmed trying to move. You haven't said if Mr is going to give you a hard time. So is this adding to the stress or is it the number of things to do to get moved?

It is normal to be scared. Make a list of things you are scared about and see which ones you can handle in the long run. Which ones will need attention now.

Start simple T. And if you don't get moved by your original date, I really want you to keep in mind that the whole world changed. Everyone is twice as stressed because of the lockdown. If you can't move now, doesn't mean you won't move.

You know you are going to have to face some fears. But you are much stronger and much more aware of what has to be done, don't shortchange yourself of being able to face those fears. facing fear doesn't mean we aren't scared, it just means we are going to do it anyway to get where we need to be.

Use your caseworker as much as you can. See if she can help to get you a T faster than is happening now.

If it takes longer, it just does. That is not your fault or lack of trying. The world is crazy and please take that into consideration.

I will support you in any way I can. Hopefully, @AnD can come on and help. She has had to do the same thing.

You CAN do this. You can also dream about when you get settled and what that freedom is going to feel like. Make plans for things you want to do, how you can expand your art. Also, try to look at the rewards of leaving.

I may have only made things seem more chaotic. But my brain is fuzzy too!! Use your caseworker T. She what help she can provide for your support. You are going to accomplish this. One thing at a time, one day at a time. You got this!! Heart hugs
 

AnD

MyPTSD Pro
#11
My brain shuts down when I am triggered. I am less able to think and take care of myself.

I believe that there is so much brain power dealing with a situation that can not be solved that "luxury" like self care is not accessible. My brain improved by not being around people that are unhealthy. No need for my brain to try to survive...

An article about amygdala hijacking
Amygdala Hijack: What It Is, Why It Happens & How to Make It Stop

Remember, you are reacting normally to an abnormal event. This isn't your choice. I am here for you to my very best ability
❤️
 
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