Hey there, this is gonna be a long post, so please bear with me.
I’m wondering if my mom’s behavior is considered bizarre/maybe inappropriate, or sexually abusive? She has this weird compulsion to tell me about her sex life, particularly with my dad. I can’t recall what she said most recently, but I remember I replied with something along the lines of, “what the f*ck is wrong with you??” And then I went off about how it’s not a chill thing to do, and it really wasn’t chill when I was a child either. She just laughed it off.
This has historically been an issue. I remember when I was a kid she would explicitly tell me about their sex life. Like, I know my dad’s favorite position, and all his kinks, and his size and performance, and the songs they like to listen to, and the toys they like to use. Basically I know everything because she shares it all. I’m sorry if this is too lewd. She would also go out of her way to tell me when she was going upstairs to have sex with him. I think she was amused by it, and by my reactions. Also, she would often make sexual comments about my body, particularly during puberty. And whenever she’d get a glimpse of me naked (like if I was getting out of the shower or something) she’d stare too long and then make some comment about my development/about me becoming a woman. I’d clearly express I was uncomfortable and try to cover myself up, but she’d do it anyway. And on top of that she would then go talk to my brother about my breasts and pubic hair, etc. I know this because my brother would tell me afterwards. Further, she seemed to always sexualize me and try to encourage me to be sexual. She’d be excited if I was dating someone and would want to know if I was having sex with them. And it didn’t seem to be out of normal parental concern regarding safe sex, she just seemed excited and like she wanted all the details.
I have PTSD due to sexual abuse by a family friend (someone my mother was having an affair with), so I can’t tell if I’m just extra sensitive about her behavior because of the other trauma, or if her behavior was actually f*cked up. I’ve been trying to figure out why I feel so much disgust towards her, which I can’t turn off, even when she’s being fine and pleasant, and I’m wondering if all this plays a role? But I feel like I’m also perhaps making too big a deal out of what may just be her weird, very open personality? There’s a lot of other overt abuse in my past that disturbs me more, so I don’t know why I’m upset by this. So yeah, is she just kinda off, or was she sexually abusive??
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this!
I’m wondering if my mom’s behavior is considered bizarre/maybe inappropriate, or sexually abusive? She has this weird compulsion to tell me about her sex life, particularly with my dad. I can’t recall what she said most recently, but I remember I replied with something along the lines of, “what the f*ck is wrong with you??” And then I went off about how it’s not a chill thing to do, and it really wasn’t chill when I was a child either. She just laughed it off.
This has historically been an issue. I remember when I was a kid she would explicitly tell me about their sex life. Like, I know my dad’s favorite position, and all his kinks, and his size and performance, and the songs they like to listen to, and the toys they like to use. Basically I know everything because she shares it all. I’m sorry if this is too lewd. She would also go out of her way to tell me when she was going upstairs to have sex with him. I think she was amused by it, and by my reactions. Also, she would often make sexual comments about my body, particularly during puberty. And whenever she’d get a glimpse of me naked (like if I was getting out of the shower or something) she’d stare too long and then make some comment about my development/about me becoming a woman. I’d clearly express I was uncomfortable and try to cover myself up, but she’d do it anyway. And on top of that she would then go talk to my brother about my breasts and pubic hair, etc. I know this because my brother would tell me afterwards. Further, she seemed to always sexualize me and try to encourage me to be sexual. She’d be excited if I was dating someone and would want to know if I was having sex with them. And it didn’t seem to be out of normal parental concern regarding safe sex, she just seemed excited and like she wanted all the details.
I have PTSD due to sexual abuse by a family friend (someone my mother was having an affair with), so I can’t tell if I’m just extra sensitive about her behavior because of the other trauma, or if her behavior was actually f*cked up. I’ve been trying to figure out why I feel so much disgust towards her, which I can’t turn off, even when she’s being fine and pleasant, and I’m wondering if all this plays a role? But I feel like I’m also perhaps making too big a deal out of what may just be her weird, very open personality? There’s a lot of other overt abuse in my past that disturbs me more, so I don’t know why I’m upset by this. So yeah, is she just kinda off, or was she sexually abusive??
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this!
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