Relationship Isolating - waitng

[Mackie]

What's the longest time you had to wait for your SO to come out of isolation?

 

[Deleted member 44240]

What's the longest time you had to wait for your SO to come out of isolation?

I’m currently waiting for my former SO to come out of isolation. He went into isolation the week before Thanksgiving.

 

[Freida]

Looking back I was gone for about 9 months one time. Got a job far away in a small town and had very little contact with anyone on a personal level. But I wasn't in a relationship at the time. I'm not sure if that would have helped or hurt

 

[Deleted member 44240]

I’m currently waiting for my former SO to come out of isolation. He went into isolation the week before...

But for some reason I keep feeling like it’s more than that. I feel like he’s shut off contact with me so that he could go back to his ex who tracks his phone and email to see who he’s communicating with.

 

[Sweetpea76]

No more than a week. Typically a day or two with no contact.

 

[Mackie]

Since Veterans Day contact has been very limited. He's working more and has stated he needs to focus on work right now. Work is his go to but it also causes stress and overwhelms him because of the interactions with different people. Plus he's a perfectionist and a very hard worker. People in the past have taken advantage of how much he is able to do. Over the course of our relationship I've talked with him about his worth and how he should increase the amount of pay he asks for. He's doing better there but there is definitely more he could do for himself. It all takes time and when he's not feeling good about himself he isn't able to justify to himself any increase in pay for the work he is doing. Back to the isolation ... I've noticed when I'm gone, like over Christmas visiting family, he'll call me every day and on most days multiple times but as soon as I get home the calls stop. Very disheartening but I guess me being back causes more relationship stress.

 

[Buttercup]

Or maybe he felt stress when you were away but now that you're back he finds comfort just knowing you're there. It sounds like he just needs some space and that is disheartening but try to be patient and leave him to himself as much as you can.

 

[Freida]

I feel like he’s shut off contact with me so that he could go back to his ex who tracks his phone and email to see who he’s communicating with.

This might be a bigger problem than PTSD..... ??

 

[Deleted member 44240]

This might be a bigger problem than PTSD..... ??

It might. I’m just guessing is all; I have no documented proof.

 

[Freida]

@B.J. No no..not questioning the proof. Just wondering if drama with the ex is a whole different problem on top of it.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

@bj. No no..not questioning the proof. Just wondering if drama with the ex is a whole different problem...

From what I’ve known and gather, there was a lot of drama in the past; I even helped my ex file a TPO on his ex.,( which was dismissed due to not having enough evidence): I was told that his this person has been a nuisance for the past nine years. I also was told by the ex that he no longer wants anything to do with my former partner. I don’t really know, just seems like a little funny business going on. I pray that I’m wrong because his ex seems like he suffers with psychosis himself and I know it would be extremely toxic.

 

[Freida]

@B.J. oh you are going to hate this..... but sometimes going back to a volatile relationship is better than staying in a stable one, because it can be the ultimate distraction. The drama is sort of appealing, because it gives you a reason to feel like crap.

I really hope he is further along the recovery stage than that -- but....

Do you know if he is doing counseling?