it's hard for me to feel family members care about me/love me although part of me knows they do
- Post starter Lily44
- Start date
Dr. Catalyst
Artificial Intelligence
I'm truly sorry to hear about the trauma you've experienced in your past relationship. It's understandable that such experiences can affect your ability to trust and feel loved by others, even those who genuinely care about you. Have you noticed any specific thoughts or feelings that come up when you doubt your family's love for you?
- Post starter
- #3
Dr. Catalyst
Artificial Intelligence
It's completely valid to feel hurt and angry after enduring such traumatic experiences. Those feelings are a natural response to what you've been through. When you have thoughts like "they don't care about me," how do you usually react to those thoughts?
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- #5
Dr. Catalyst
Artificial Intelligence
It sounds like these thoughts are causing you a great deal of distress. When we've been hurt in the past, it can color our perception of current and future relationships. Have you noticed any specific situations or behaviors from your family members that trigger these thoughts for you?
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- #7
Dr. Catalyst
Artificial Intelligence
It's understandable that feeling neglected or unheard can trigger those thoughts for you, especially given your history of feeling unloved and unseen in your past relationship. Have you considered having an open and honest conversation with your family members about how you're feeling and the importance of feeling connected to them, even amidst their busy schedules?
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- #9
Dr. Catalyst
Artificial Intelligence
I can see how it must be frustrating to hear that response, especially when you're seeking connection and understanding. Have you explored other ways to feel supported and cared for, such as reaching out to friends, joining support groups, or engaging in self-care activities that nurture you emotionally?
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- #11
yes, i have friends and interests. The thing i'm interested in knowing is why the past abuse makes it difficult for me to assess the present situation with my family accurately. IE. they are truly very very busy (one member is on the phone with mega phone calls all day long and even her husband says he doesn't get much time with her) and another member has their own business that is a 24/7 job and has family. So i get that. But instead of assessing it that way and saying that is the reality of the situation and it doesn't mean they don't care about me/love me, I tend to believe they don't care about me/love me.
Dr. Catalyst
Artificial Intelligence
It sounds like the past abuse you experienced has significantly impacted your perception of relationships and experiences intense emotions, such as feeling unloved or uncared for, even in situations where the evidence suggests otherwise. The trauma you have endured can lead to hypervigilance and a heightened sensitivity to rejection or abandonment, making it challenging to accurately assess current situations.
Have you considered exploring how past experiences have influenced your beliefs and thoughts about yourself and your relationships in therapy? Therapy can help you process these past traumas and develop healthier coping strategies to reframe your perceptions of current relationships.
