I have ptsd and depression for that added flavour. Not sure how I feel about finally having the diagnosis. Relieved that I'm not crazy (?!), but also terrified cos that means I have to stop avoiding everything if I want to get better. Hard times ahead.
Congrats Piglet... if it really is a good thing... (scratch head), anyway, I think you know what I mean. Atleast you have some sort of official answer, and no more stuffing around.
So I assume this will help with the work issue now?
you now have an answer and an end to what has gone before, see it as a point from which things begin, a point where you move forward and try to deal with the things which haunt you and although not the easy option it is the better option.
Not sure if it will help with work, but I'm in a "who cares about them" mood at the moment - I've done enough stressing today already! Off out with some friends tonight and then I plan on doing very little over the weekend - just walking the dog somewhere nice.
At least the decision had been made, so i don't have to worry about it any more.
Last night was good. I actually slept til about 4.30am and no nightmares. Feeling very overwhelmed and scared now though. It's starting to sink in that I've got hard times ahead, and I'm trying to slow my brain down to taking it a day at a time.
I feel really isolated. I can't talk to my family, I dare not talk to my friends, and I have to decide how/what to say to work. On top of that I feel a bit silly - after all, I've known that I probably have ptsd for a long time, so why should it upset me just because it's been confirmed? Also, how the hell am I thinking what I just typed when i've spend a load of time and posted about how not having the diagnosis has allowed me to do the denial thing. I really need to stop going round in circles!!!!
I'm feeling like someone's just stuck this huge wall in front of me. It's going to be a hell of a job to get over it, but maybe it will be nice on the other side!
Piglet, its just a name, nothing more, nothing less. You are no different a person from when you walked into the center without the name, to when you walked out with it. Think about that, and apply it mentally, as this is the reality of the situation. I know what your saying, but your allowing your mind to take over, which is a big big no no with PTSD. You can't over-think everything, because you will only create more problems with PTSD. You had it before you went in, remember that.
The only wall you really have, is your trauma, as that is whats causing you to think another wall now exists. If you didn't have trauma, and someone told you you had PTSD, you would tell them not a chance, and nothing would change, ie. no wall would suddenly be put up. That wall technically had to exist already before you where given an official brand to your problems. That means, trauma is winning, Piglet is losing!
I thought that hard hitting question at the end would get the desired affect. Anger, then outlook... Now your talking piglet, and getting on the hard hitting path to recovery. Good stuff.