To anyone that has read my previous posts. The hearing was today, I made it through!!!!!!!!!!!!I did take two ativan though, i had too. It started out a bit scary because my psychologist got lost and she was bit late so I was starting to supper worry, but she came through, i really had no doubt she would not but for a second there.......... Anyway this is the thing the questions started and the only thing I can focus on is the song playing over and over in my head, "just breathe, just breathe" and I did. i answered there questions to the best of my ability. I took one bathroom break, I thought I was going to vomit (they didn't know that ) but I sure felt it. They questioned the psychologist while I was gone. I still have to speak to her about that. I had to speak to two men and one woman and i was told that it would be all woman, I handled it, no problem, big one for me. When it was over i really didn't feel different, just really numb. They are considering my travel costs and additional pain and suffering and that should be deceided on in no sooner than 20 weeks. The loss of wages did not go through because i am a registered nurse in a supervisors position and my LTD is quite a good plan, at least better than no plan, IMO. I finally let go in the car and cried the hour drive home, took 2 more ativan and slept for 3 hours and then i went to get my son. I am just so glad it is over, i know it will be awhile before the decision but at least that is over. i never want to have to tell my deepest personal horrific events or have people know about then anymore, i want to put this away where it belongs. i am going to start a journal when i have more energy. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this.