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I've finally cured myself of my ED (Eating Disorder)

Thread starter #1
It's been a long struggle, encompassing about 34 years.

First it was being obsessed with becoming anorexic. I WANTED to be anorexic, to show my mother how badly her treatment of me was hurting me.

Then I gained weight after she "boarded me out" to strangers, a Scottish family, at 13, and their food was not what I was used to and I got chubby. I panicked and started deliberately avoiding meals and being obsessed with looking like the models in Dolly magazine (this was back.in.the early 80's).

I did develop an anorexic type ED and became very ill with B12 deficiency and anaemia, which lead to psychosis as my brain "started to dissolve" in my late 20's.

I stopped deliberately avoiding food in my early thirties, this was after all my 7-children were born and I was tired of having no boobs, yes, that's how bonkers I was. I was breastfeeding and malnourished for years. Keep in mind, I have Autism (high functioning) and CPTSD. I was also being abused by the father of my chsren throughout my childbearing years.

After my last baby I resolved NOT to miss as many meals as I could, and I went the other extreme. I struggled with putting on too much weight. My weight yoyoed until more trauma and acute stress and my 40's hit, and I became more and more overweight, until I nearly became diabetic (I was classified as pre-diabetic) following a miscarriage and subsequent further spiking in weight gain.

I am now 46, and have embarked on a ketonic diet, after numerous attempts and three miscarriages in the last few years (different and very loving father, my current partner)

No more bingeing or urge to binge, no more missing too many meals.

I have been on this diet for two weeks and my weight has plummeted from at its highest 87.8kg, down to 80.7kg, at the start of this latest restricted diet, at the beginning of March, to now 76.7kg, currently.

My aim is to reach at least 65kg, aiming for that to happen by around the end of April.

I will keep you posted.
 
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Thread starter #7
I'm still losing weight but this is HARD! I really have been struggling with an eating addiction and it's an everyday struggle to undereat enough to lose weight without going the other way and become malnourished again.

I think this will be a lifelong struggle, much like the struggle of an alcoholic, but because I have to eat everyday, as well as prepare delicious high carb meals for my family, it's taking an extraordinary amount of strong will and self control to avoid indulging my addiction. I have made it into the 75 kg zone, and I still have at least 10kgs to lose.

I am DETERMINED to nail this comorbid trauma and Austism caused disorder.

I NEED this. My cptsd (yes, I do have the official diagnosis from my psychiatrist for complex PTSD) is weighing me down with quality-of-life-destroying-symptoms so I need this victory of getting on top of my ED. So far, I am getting there, but, it's very gruelling and I am struggling with it. Still, doing pretty well, all things considered.
 
#8
Practice, patience, persistence, & perseverance Mum... better to focus on the "how" maybe and focus/emphasize balancing nutrition without tripping over to over/under eating? I think you're right on track to master and resolve this! Glad you updated!
 

Kubash16

Policy Enforcement
#9
I have a couple of questions because I have some skepticism. I hope you don’t mind, none of it is meant to be rude or unsupportive.

First, I’m curious how you are sure you have cured an ED with a diet? Seems kind of backwards to me. Are you getting outside support from a therapist and/or dietitian, since ED’s are psychological?

Second, I’m also curious how you were officially diagnosed with CPTSD since it’s not included in either the DSM or ICD yet. It would have to be in those to be a recognized thing and though people are fighting for it, as far as I’m aware it hasn’t happened yet.

I completely understand if you don’t feel like answering, these questions might be rude of me to ask. I’m just genuinely confused.
 
#10
I think this will be a lifelong struggle, much like the struggle of an alcoholic, but because I have to eat everyday
That’s why in eating disorder land there are both lapses AND relapses, unlike in addiction land where there are only relapses.

In a lapse? One starts to slip, or fall into old habits, or leans on food as a coping mechanism, or forgets one day or overdoes one day, or gets sick, or catches their thinking getting disorted even if their behaviours haven’t yet been affected, or, or, or, or... it’s an art of balance -of awareness & making course corrections as needed- rather than black and white abstinence. <<< It’s actually fairly similar to stress management with PTSD. There are constant adjustments being made, because we live in the real world, not in a vacuum. Life happens. And that’s part of how it’s supposed to be. >>> A lapse isn’t anything to get upset over, it’s just life. Correct and move on. Walking with a limp? Is still walking.

A relapse? Simply put... There’s no self correction.

So, personally, I like to reframe from “struggle”. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good fight as much as the next lass... but given the choice between fighting myself & perfecting an artform? :sneaky: The art of balance. I’ll take that one.
 
Thread starter #11
I have a couple of questions because I have some skepticism. I hope you don’t mind, none of it is meant to be rude or unsupportive.

First, I’m curious how you are sure you have cured an ED with a diet? Seems kind of backwards to me. Are you getting outside support from a therapist and/or dietitian, since ED’s are psychological?

Second, I’m also curious how you were officially diagnosed with CPTSD since it’s not included in either the DSM or ICD yet. It would have to be in those to be a recognized thing and though people are fighting for it, as far as I’m aware it hasn’t happened yet.

I completely understand if you don’t feel like answering, these questions might be rude of me to ask. I’m just genuinely confused
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Believe me I'm just as flummoxed as you @kubush16. I only noticed that my treating psychiatrist has written complex ptsd on my discharge form a few weeks ago.

I guess she feels confidant to diagnose as she is a trauma specialist treating people in the only inpatients trauma&dissociation program in the southern hemisphere. You'd have to talk to her regarding more details of that.

I guess treating professionals have earned the right to call it. She's obviously very knowledgeable and has been treating people with PTSD and related comorbities for many years. So that's the first question answered.

I mean I knew that was the diagnosis that fit me, but like you, I didnt think it was recognised yet. But there you are, the proof is written for all to see.

I'll address the next question a bit later, as it's a lot more complex and I'm going to need more time to go.into it.
 
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