My partner just flipped out at me in a really scary way. I was actually indicating to him that I wanted him to hit me so it would be over and done with. I could call the cops and they would haul his ass away. He didn't hit me though. He just yelled as loud as he could just a centimeter away from my face about beating me up just like he's been beaten up by his family his whole life. Then he walked away and I went to comfort our 3 year old until he went back to sleep. Meanwhile it sounded like my partner was making himself a coffee. Like, WTF??? Then I grabbed my laptop, my coat and a pair of shoes and sneaked out to my friend's house and that's where I am now. Luckily she has insomnia too so she was still awake at 3am when I turned up as a blubbering mess on her doorstep. :crybaby: As I was telling her about what happened I realised that this goading somebody to hit me is not me. I have always been far too scared to do something like that. It's him! He's the one who does that kind of thing! The last few days I've been turning into him. That's what the big fight was about really. He was yelling at me for not being there for him enough. Hell, whoever "I" am hasn't been here for me either! What's brought this about is the fact that his father and grandmother, the source of all his pain and trouble in life, are in Melbourne and wanting to see him and our son. Well he saw his Dad on Wednesday but tomorrow we're supposed to go to lunch somewhere we've never been and play happy families with people who, as I understand it, have tried to kill him! Are we f*cking crazy??? There's no way that can work. And yet I really didn't let it surface consciously but I did make a half-assed attempt to weasle out of going. That is what really upset him but he didn't say much at the time since I took it back instantly. I don't think I can do this. I don't think I have the strength to go much further. I don't know what to do from here and I am worried about our little boy and how this impacts on him. I'm going to call my mother in a few hours, when the sun's up and see if she can help me.