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Jumbling up words when trying to recall a traumatic memory

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Sarahhill

Hello everyone, i had therapy today, and i was trying to recall one of my traumas when all my words where getting all jumbled up and im pretty sure it just sounded like random words and sentances that didnt make any sense... has anyone else experienced this? What was your experience? Im just looking for some reaasurance that its not just me.
 
Ooooooh yeah.

It spirals a bit. First words jumble, then thoughts; then I can’t talk, then I can’t think... Literally cannot talk, not even one word, even if I can hunk perfectly clearly; and literally can’t think, it’s like a great smooth white featureless wall just materializes between myself & my thoughts. Then? it bleeds into everyday life. Not just around trauma, but having to communicate about anything. Words jumble just trying to say “Pass the OJ?” (Thing plastic me cap? Stuff, color, thirsty, tree, f*ck. f*ck. f*ck. f*ck. The thing. In the plastic thing. To drink. Please?). Then my thoughts get all foggy, and I can’t think my way out of a wet paper bag.
 
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Ooooooh yeah.

It spirals a bit. First words jumble, then thoughts; then I can’t talk, then I can’t think... Literally cannot talk, not even one word, and literally can’t think, it’s like a great smooth white featureless wall just materializes between myself & my thoughts. Then? it bleeds into everyday life. Not just around trauma, but having to communicate about anything. Words jumble just trying to say “Pass the OJ?” (Thing plastic me cap? Stuff, color, thirsty, tree, f*ck. f*ck. f*ck. f*ck. The thing. In the plastic thing. To drink. Please?). Then my thoughts get all foggy, and I can’t think my way out of a wet paper bag.

That thing, thingy....you know...it looks like and is used for X, and sometimes it's white and green, and big.....(the guessing game for the other guy) but recently I got a purple one.....LOL...as the friend is playing 20 questions. Or I tell a story about how it came to be (like I can recall the inventor's name Crapper) and it's location (bathroom) ......and function sometimes......usually they get it w enough clues.
 
Sometimes this can occur b/c the frontal lobe is inhibited and the amygdala is very active causing executive functioning to be adversely affected.

Sometimes this can occur b/c the trauma occurred before the child learned language. The impact of pre-verbal trauma can be very significant.
 
Ooooooh yeah.

It spirals a bit. First words jumble, then thoughts; then I can’t talk, then I can’t think... Literally cannot talk, not even one word, even if I can hunk perfectly clearly; and literally can’t think, it’s like a great smooth white featureless wall just materializes between myself & my thoughts.
These words could've come out of my mouth. I struggle with this every therapy session. On top of the PTSD I have a Dissociative Disorder so dissociation is very prominent in our sessions. I just wanted to say that it is caused due to dissociation/a stress response.

This is the 1st time I've ever seen this described JUST as what happens in my case as well. Reading this thread made me feel less alone.
 
I've had this before and also a stutter at times. Usually it's during or after a flashback and I keep trying to speak and garbage just falls out. I find it kinda funny now but when it first started happening I was terrified but I've learnt a bit more about the brain and trauma. There was one time I was with friends and ended up just saying one word about 20 times like a broken record. It's frustrating.

You are not alone.
 
yep. I start circling the drain of inarticulation, followed by periods where I think it but can't say it followed by said it but didn't clearly think it followed by oops I said that out loud and then.....cliff dive. I think it is pretty common, my better T's have been able to stop the spiral when they needed me to be clear and let me spin when I needed to unload and it wasn't coming easily. Frankly, those sessions are pretty productive, feeling the emotions that intensely is exposure therapy with a good T to keep it healthy.
 
Yep. Words, languages, metaphors mixing, words that don't describe the image, much less the sensation, synesthetic comparisons and other mumble jumble...

I usually reach a point of wild gesturing, hoping people get it, throwing hands in the air with no talking spoons... or going shutdown nonverbal, many types.

Not just around trauma either; everything locks & breaks off shore & doesn't reallign like a wave would, back to cope.

Usually got to switch to something making sense - moves, colors, shades, shapes, scents - and stop giving f*cks for words. Until they return. Or don't, but awareness is back online.
 
So comforting to read everyone’s take on this. I pretty much convinced myself I had early onset Alzheimer's before T pointed out what was going on.
 
100% you are not alone. It is the underlying overwhelm you experience that makes language tricky even though probably you are fine speaker when not under the cloud of heavy unbearable body memory of traumatic events. I have similar things when deep in dissociation or regression or something during therapy. Very jarring. Good for you to recognize it.
 
Not just mixing or missing words for me. I actually lose the ability to talk. :(
The first time it happened it went on for about 10 minutes and totally freaked me out. It still happens but these days I can stay calmer and work thru it
 
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