feel unsupported right now. i usually have a good network but not at the moment. My flatmate has her own mental health needs that means i can't dump on her at the moment, my cpn is away for three weeks and my therapist has cancelled my appointment this week.
All of that would be ok normally i could get through. only last session in therapy i gave my first account of the facts that happend in the trauma that led to ptsd since making a statment to the police after it just happened. (Jan 05)
i handled the facts (no thoughts or feelings) ok while telling it, but after the session the feelings came, and i was back in the incident again. Overwhelmed and scared. i struggled with it by distraction which worked to bury it for a day or so. I then got aggitated and frustrated but dealt with that too by writing a diary and crying!
Now i'm just upset and struggling with the aftermath of it. I can't stop the tears from falling today and my mind is numb. I'm tired of fighting the images that appear and of blocking out thoughts before they even appear so i don't even know why i'm upset. have given myself a headache now!
my therapist left a message for me to say i could call and talk about anything, but i haven't got anything to discuss. I can't pin piont any specifics or have the words to desribe what i'm thinking or feeling so whats the point incalling when i can't express what is festering inside me? what would i say? i don't want to waste his time speaking to me when he could be helping someone else.
i just needed to get a few things out of my mind and onto paper, so there i have!
All of that would be ok normally i could get through. only last session in therapy i gave my first account of the facts that happend in the trauma that led to ptsd since making a statment to the police after it just happened. (Jan 05)
i handled the facts (no thoughts or feelings) ok while telling it, but after the session the feelings came, and i was back in the incident again. Overwhelmed and scared. i struggled with it by distraction which worked to bury it for a day or so. I then got aggitated and frustrated but dealt with that too by writing a diary and crying!
Now i'm just upset and struggling with the aftermath of it. I can't stop the tears from falling today and my mind is numb. I'm tired of fighting the images that appear and of blocking out thoughts before they even appear so i don't even know why i'm upset. have given myself a headache now!
my therapist left a message for me to say i could call and talk about anything, but i haven't got anything to discuss. I can't pin piont any specifics or have the words to desribe what i'm thinking or feeling so whats the point incalling when i can't express what is festering inside me? what would i say? i don't want to waste his time speaking to me when he could be helping someone else.
i just needed to get a few things out of my mind and onto paper, so there i have!