Cypress
Confident
I met someone while I was serving overseas last year. We were each other's best support during a truly horrible situation: the operational environment under COVID conditions. We came back together, adopted a couple of bomb-sniffer dogs we served with and started to make a real relationship. I have been trying my best to not be crazy, to trust, to allow myself to feel love and for the most part had been succeeding with the help of my therapist.
But everything changed when I had to take time off work to better manage my PTSD. We moved in together on a trial basis and the first couple of weeks were ok but then my therapist went on paternity leave. Since then I have been seized with a terrific anxiety and intense feeling that I need to escape the relationship immediately. This gnawing fear has led me to pick fights which I have done in previous relationships as a way to create distance. I don't want to screw this relationship up, I don't want to escape, but maybe I am just too jacked up mentally to be in a relationship.
Any ideas for quelling this fear? I don't trust my own judgement right now.
But everything changed when I had to take time off work to better manage my PTSD. We moved in together on a trial basis and the first couple of weeks were ok but then my therapist went on paternity leave. Since then I have been seized with a terrific anxiety and intense feeling that I need to escape the relationship immediately. This gnawing fear has led me to pick fights which I have done in previous relationships as a way to create distance. I don't want to screw this relationship up, I don't want to escape, but maybe I am just too jacked up mentally to be in a relationship.
Any ideas for quelling this fear? I don't trust my own judgement right now.