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Other just need a place to vent

Thread starter #1
I'm not sure if I exactly belong on here since I don't think I have ptsd, just like left over reactions and the rare flashback.

but recently been feeling a bit emotional about it and I kinda want to just talk to people who can relate and air it out. i'm so done with talking with randoms who have no idea, don't know how to react and probs don't even really believe what I'm saying.

I'll say my story short. I'm 19, and I was assaulted twice in my teen years. one wasn't very bad, but for some reason it did f*ck me up a little, and the other one was a lot more severe. as a result I got more into destructive and reckless (especially sexual) behaviors which ended up in me going to see older squetchy men for sex & to get high and that kinda thing, and ultimately when I was 18, actually selling myself to people off the streets. I know that doesn't sound believable but it happened.
 
#3
Hi @xlilithx , welcome. I'm sorry all that happened to you.

It does sound believable, because it is and it's what happened.

You're in good company here. Many of us have similar experiences.

You say the first assault wasn't that serious. I say this about some of my experiences too. But I try and correct myself and tell myself if someone else was saying that happened to them, I wouldn't minimise it that way. I would offer them empathy and concern and validation for what they experienced. It's sometimes really hard to offer that same level of care to ourselves. And that is part of the healing journey we go on.

Are you in therapy at the moment?
 
Thread starter #6
been in therapy since I was 12, been in a lot of clinics and that type of thing too, and I'm really sick with that whole world and being kinda chained down by that. I'm sick of my parents and everyone around me thinking I'm unstable and treating me like that. it's also directly tied to my "independence". If I'm like "mom can I go see a therapist", I will lose some freedom. plus therapy never really helped me that much anyways. I'm usually fine on my own. if I need to talk, I can just do that with people online or irl and get the job done
 
#7
Needing to talk, or friends, don't really substitute for therapy / pro help tho.

And I'm not sure it's a loss of freedom... it lets you gain new insights and skills. New skills are always useful for making yourself freer, or sticking it out with less hurts while you can't.

And hey, saying that as someone who lived on the streets & on the run heckuva lot. Not from a sheltered life high horse.
 
#9
You're 19 now, therapy at 12 (or any underage year) is different from therapy as an adult, even if for no other reason than nobody else has to be involved, no parents involved etc. Like you don't even have to tell your parents you're seeing one now, you can just sort it yourself and not tell them. Very different dynamics IME.
 
#10
Tried adult protective services, about their treatment or mistreatment of you?

(The way you mention freedom & control gets me concerned they, while trying for protective, may be overly controling or abusive... or controling and masking it as protective... or your relation is otherwise full of strife. Hard to say from a post.

But it sounds in every case *you* are incredibly troubled by it and might use an ear and a hand out of that situation, in some way.

Which therapists are also good people to run things by, if they are good.)

Or mentioning it to counselors at school if you attend one, any youth center or organization around, anonymous hotlines or warm lines, and the like? :)
 
Thread starter #11
You're 19 now, therapy at 12 (or any underage year) is different from therapy as an adult, even if for no other reason than nobody else has to be involved, no parents involved etc. Like you don't even have to tell your parents you're seeing one now, you can just sort it yourself and not tell them. Very different dynamics IME.
I have no money at all, except if I do chores for my parents and that's like nothing (i sound like such a loser lmao) and I won't be able to get a job or anything for a little while anyways. so even if I wanted to see one, wouldn't be able to get it privately
 
#12
Where ya living? As in country. Is there random jobs you can do and find a sliding scale therapist? Can you not work cos of disabilities or cos of the whole covid thing? Cos if it's the covid thing, there is still jobs going and it's worth looking.
 
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