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Keep Hitting Walls

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Eliza

Confident
Every time I reach out for help, I seem to be hitting a dead end.

I’m on an 18 week waiting list for EMDR. The psychologist I spoke to asked how I would cope between now and then – I was too afraid to say that I was scared I wouldn’t cope, and I was scared I would reach a point where I would just step out in front of a bus to be rid of all the pain.

I tried our Employee Assistance Programme, but they only fund 5 sessions, and I’ve used those. It seems to have brought up all the crap I’ve been suffering with and then ended before it could be resolved.

I called the mental health service I’ve been referred to, and they referred me to a charity. I got in touch with them and they referred me to another charity.

They all say they provide support, but so far I’m just getting turfed from service to service with no actual help being offered.

I’ve been given phone numbers for helplines, but I get super anxious talking on the phone, and there is never anywhere private to make calls. Even the ones with email addresses want to speak to on the phone before offering any help – all the mental health services, and all the charities. So then there’s the added level of anxiety that I need to find somewhere in my busy office to take a call without being overheard.

I just want someone to sit me down, face to face and tell me it’s all going to be ok.
 
Hi @Eliza , do you have anywhere you can go on your break to make a call? Or a private office / private room in your office maybe? Can an evening or weekend call be arranged so you can be at home. I understand you want face to face support, however the phone conversation might need to be the starting point for this to happen . It might also be a stop gap for support whilst you wait for the emdr sessions.
I hope you manage to sort something.
 
There isn't anywhere I can go on breaks. I work in a large office where all the meeting rooms are free and the break room is always busy. Even outside areas usually have people walking through.
From the ones I've looked into so far, their office hours tend to be 9-5, and annoyingly ours are 9-6.
I might tell my boss I have a doctor's appointment and just leave early or arrive late so I can take the call at home.
 
I'm sorry you're struggling so much and also sad to hear about the waitlist.

I just wanted to let you know that there is a hotline chat on the RAINN webpage. Typing helps me because I can express myself better. I don't know if your PTSD was brought by that type of trauma but I figured it was worth mentioning.
 
I've just taken a look at RAINN and my PTSD wasn't brought on by that. It was brought on by witnessing a terrorist attack.
I got in touch with a couple of charities though and I'm hopefully seeing somebody on Monday to see what kind of support they can offer.
 
Every time I reach out for help, I seem to be hitting a dead end.

I’m on an 18 week waiting list for EMDR. The psychologist I spoke to asked how I would cope between now and then – I was too afraid to say that I was scared I wouldn’t cope, and I was scared I would reach a point where I would just step out in front of a bus to be rid of all the pain.

I tried our Employee Assistance Programme, but they only fund 5 sessions, and I’ve used those. It seems to have brought up all the crap I’ve been suffering with and then ended before it could be resolved.

I called the mental health service I’ve been referred to, and they referred me to a charity. I got in touch with them and they referred me to another charity.

They all say they provide support, but so far I’m just getting turfed from service to service with no actual help being offered.

I’ve been given phone numbers for helplines, but I get super anxious talking on the phone, and there is never anywhere private to make calls. Even the ones with email addresses want to speak to on the phone before offering any help – all the mental health services, and all the charities. So then there’s the added level of anxiety that I need to find somewhere in my busy office to take a call without being overheard.

I just want someone to sit me down, face to face and tell me it’s all going to be ok.
Hey. Been there still there. Thats why were here for eachother.
If your from canada walk into emergency and stay there until you get help. Medifact keeps all your health records and will that day send you to psych. I have said i feel suicidal all the time!! Will i follow through? Do i have a plan? No
Its an unhealthy coping mechanism of feeling hopeless helpless depressed and stressed the f*ck out. You are normal. You are human. You deserve help. Also call hotlines for help. They are free. Canada uk usa forsure.
If in canada call 811 and say you need to speak to someone. Thwy have access to shit youd never find yourself. Chin up lass or lad. Ive been there. Still there. But im here to share the story and oneday someone will need your advice so.. One thing at a time. Take breaks. Give credit to yourself when you do anything. Huggs. Were all here for you on this webby
 
I've just taken a look at RAINN and my PTSD wasn't brought on by that. It was brought on by witnessing a terrorist attack
Hi @Eliza if you’re in the US, you can always text “home or start“ to 741741 for the crisis text line. The counselors are available 24/7 to talk about any issues that you have, and you do not have to be suicidal to contact them! They have a website, and are strictly a texting service that is available in multiple countries. If you are looking for referrals, they have a large database of free resources to use that might point you in the right direction! I volunteer for them. I wish you luck in finding the appropriate help you need and deserve!
 
I tried our Employee Assistance Programme, but they only fund 5 sessions, and I’ve used those. It seems to have brought up all the crap I’ve been suffering with and then ended before it could be resolved.

I called the mental health service I’ve been referred to, and they referred me to a charity. I got in touch with them and they referred me to another charity.

They all say they provide support, but so far I’m just getting turfed from service to service with no actual help being offered.
I'm sorry, that is an extremely frustrating experience. Sounds like you're in the UK - paging @digger to the thread, to see if they've any suggestions. ETA: also @barefoot has a thread, on their struggle with NHS traumatic stress services that has a number of other UK-based members posting on it.

Sounds to me like you are looking for some regular contact with a therapist to keep you level enough while you're waiting for the EMDR. I understand that you've run through what your employee program allows, but is there a way to get a referral to a psychologist for ongoing support?
The psychologist I spoke to asked how I would cope between now and then – I was too afraid to say that I was scared I wouldn’t cope, and I was scared I would reach a point where I would just step out in front of a bus to be rid of all the pain.
You could try contacting them again. You don't need to bring up stepping in front of a bus, if that's what you're scared to mention - but you can say, "I thought I'd be able to manage this waiting period, but it's becoming increasingly difficult, and I need structured support, ideally weekly therapy, to help me manage until I can receive formal trauma treatment."

You'll need to be prepared to talk about what "difficult" means, but that's something we can help you strategize about, here, if you'd like. Most members have gotten pretty adept at labelling symptoms and validating severity. :tup:

Really sorry you're going through this. It's demoralizing, to work hard at getting help, and feel like you're not even being met half-way. But hang in there.
 
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I did a lot of this. We are here for you like the others said. Many of us have gone through this. I was hoping id die during this time. My trauma was trying to come out, and i was trying to stop it with drugs.

It's almost like the harder you try the harder it gets. I think this is indicative of what it does to us. The beginning was so hard . There isn't an easy way though, in my opinion.

But it does get easier in time or it has for me. Different actually is a better way to say it. Easier than it was. I hope you are able to get help and perhaps reading here and writing will help, It helps me a lot.
 
I’m on an 18 week waiting list for EMDR. The psychologist I spoke to asked how I would cope between now and then – I was too afraid to say that I was scared I wouldn’t cope, and I was scared I would reach a point where I would just step out in front of a bus to be rid of all the pain.
Hi @Eliza - is this an NHS service you are on a waiting list for? If so, and you are already in their system, there should be a Single Point of Access number you can contact - services vary a lot depending on where you are in the country, but many of the SPA numbers operate outside of office hours as well. They may be able to offer you some interim support while you are on the waiting list. If you don't know the number, your GP should be able to give it to you.

I hear what you are saying about phone anxiety though. It is something I suffer with too and find helpline virtually impossible for that reason. Another option for you to consider while you are waiting for therapy might be to make use of the Samaritans text or email services as a way of just having someone to check in with? You won't get the same person each time, but I have found it useful in the past as a way of riding things out until I can get something more concrete in place.

I'm currently in a bit of a limbo myself with treatment (referred five months ago, still waiting for an assessment) and it's really hard to keep yourself level in the meantime.
 
You could try contacting them again. You don't need to bring up stepping in front of a bus, if that's what you're scared to mention - but you can say, "I thought I'd be able to manage this waiting period, but it's becoming increasingly difficult, and I need structured support, ideally weekly therapy, to help me manage until I can receive formal trauma treatment."

You'll need to be prepared to talk about what "difficult" means, but that's something we can help you strategize about, here, if you'd like. Most members have gotten pretty adept at labelling symptoms and validating severity. :tup:

Thanks, that would be really helpful to strategise on how best to explain my symptoms. I went back to the mental health service and said that I was struggling. They gave me a couple of charities to approach, and I had a meeting with a charity that specialises in helping victims of terror attacks, but they are based miles away, so won't be able to make regular contact. It was fairly helpful though. But I still feel like I just need something more concrete and regular.

Hi @Eliza - is this an NHS service you are on a waiting list for? If so, and you are already in their system, there should be a Single Point of Access number you can contact - services vary a lot depending on where you are in the country, but many of the SPA numbers operate outside of office hours as well. They may be able to offer you some interim support while you are on the waiting list. If you don't know the number, your GP should be able to give it to you.
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It is indeed an NHS waiting list. I think it was the SPA that I called, but I'm not sure. It was just the general number for the MH service. Like I said above, they recommended the charity, but they are based so far away that it would be impossible to set up regular meetings.

I hear what you are saying about phone anxiety though. It is something I suffer with too and find helpline virtually impossible for that reason. Another option for you to consider while you are waiting for therapy might be to make use of the Samaritans text or email services as a way of just having someone to check in with? You won't get the same person each time, but I have found it useful in the past as a way of riding things out until I can get something more concrete in place.

I've used the Samaritans email service a couple of times, but I always feel like I'm sort of wasting their time as I'm not really in a crisis or actively suicidal. I'm just kind of feeling a bit bleh. Don't really want to be here, but not made any active plans.
 
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