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Keeping It In The Room

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rosey

MyPTSD Pro
Having seen a few therapists now it appears to be common to ensure that clients are able to leave the therapy in the room at the end of the session.

Does anyone else struggle to do this?

As a person who cuts off my emotions when talking about my traumas to find the feelings hitting me after the sessions, i find it pretty impossible to leave it in the room for the week.

I have had therapy where I have spoken openly about events, left seemingly fine to spend a week in turmoil. when I tell the therapist the following week about the distress they are shocked as from their point of view it was a good session where I coped well. I know linking feelings to the therapy would help but when I try that I cant talk which is even more useless.

I would be interested on any views from therapist if there are any out there?
likewise how do others manage with keeping it in the room?
 
I've never heard of this and don't know how it's possible. We don't have on and off switches and in order to work through your feelings, it must mean taking time to sit with them for a while and really feel. Some of the dirt we dive into is so deeply buried that when there is a reveal, no way can I say, we'll, that's over, guess I'll go make dinner and ignore it til next session. I know they try to do a wind down to soothe things and make sure it's safe for the client to leave. I don't think we fit feelings away in a tidy box.
 
Here's the thing - we are whole human beings.

Containment is the clinical term for "keeping it in the room" and it's - skill that's a part of a bigger picture.

I don't keep all my therpay or feelings in the room because therpay is supposed to help my life outside of the room... but I also do work in therapy how to re-contain feelings that come up about the session and topics during the week.

My therapist and I went through a period of time of practicing a lot of containment skills (and self regulation/coping skill) in sessions even when I looked calm to help me to be able to use those skills when my brain freaked out later on.

This is an essential part of trauma work and some people spend lots and lots of time on this part before doing much trauma work.

Learning how to handle the feelings that come up after sessions is a critical part of therapy itself and time in therapy working on these skills will pay off dividends in many ways.

I'm not surprised at all that even though you may seem to be able to cope in the session, it's much harder out of the session. Makes a lot of sense to me and would to some trauma therapists - but many therapists gauge on how much a subject is impacting a person based on outward presentation in the session - body language, visible upset, words, etc. you may instead be holding all that back in sessions and then the dam breaks later on.

The good thing about it is that it's a sign you are doing good work in the session - and that you need some more support and guidance on how to not destabilize during the week. And it's a great thing you are telling the therapists about how the week is going - keep that up do thy can develop a plan that helps.

One of the things my therapist does is have me keep a journal of lists - not so much entries to process but a "for therapy list." I hardly ever show my therapist this list but it kind of ticks my brain that I can process what is on the list later, in therapy. Listing it out instead of outright journaling helps me get in on paper without stirring it up too much.

My therapist also give me homework every week - I ask for it. "What should I work on this week?" Is a critical question for me. Sometimes she will tell me to practice journaling (not listing) about one topic and then putting it away and engaging in self care or other coping skills. Other times it is to notice every time I feel a certain feeling and what it feels like in my body. Sometimes it's do 3 mindfulness activities a day. She intentional helps me drag the work in therapy out of the room and into my life - but in a way that promotes stabilization and skills building.
 
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Wish I could help you, but my T tells me the exact opposite...he wants me to continue processing and working on things IRL that happen in therapy. I guess it depends on what EXACTLY you're working on...Some things I do have to keep just between him and me, and that's difficult with a very nosey mom who wants to know your every thought. I have to keep a lot hidden from her, but my bro and dad know generally what's going on with me after therapy. Still, there are things I don't even share with myself outside of therapy, so yeah...ok, now I'm rambling. Hope you can find some answers, sorry I wasn't much help.
 
I have never, in 8 years, leave "therapy in the session"...like "leave it at the door" when going into work sort of thing. Therapy has always been a process outside of my therapy session. Homework and so forth. Ive never even heard of it really as you have to apply things to real life.
 
@watundah whats a tidy box? haha. would be nice hey

@Justmehere that is a great idea about the list i shall be starting one from today. have tried the journaling thing but found it just set my mind working overtime and in plently of other directions to add. a list might be more useful. thanks for the note about doing the good work certainly a great point had never seen it in that light before but yes you are right.
 
Yeah I agree with the others, I don't think it's possible to leave it in the room but your therapist should go at a pace that means you can cope between sessions. That means you do need to talk about your distress levels in between sessions because if you look like you're coping in session your T will think the depth and pace is fine when perhaps you need to go more gently or develop more skills to manage in between?

It's should be the case that you continue to process stuff in between sessions, and that will impact you emotionally - most of the work in therapy happens outside of the room as we work through our stuff but your distress levels should be manageable.
 
I am wondering if this is more of a british therapy style then. I noticed from many people post from other countries that contact via phone or email is more accepted between sessions whereas here is seems therapist discourage contact unless it is about appointment times. I guess this means leaving it in the room makes more sense in those terms.
 
Yeah I agree with the others, I don't think it's possible to leave it in the room but your therapist sh...
i will put distress levels first on my list of things to bring up next week, think you are right i need to monitor more in the room.
 
I know exactly how you feel. I have often said at the end of a dificult session that i feel okay.
My T asks and checks im okay and i will be honest, she can usually sense before we finish so will do some grounding or relaxation exercises with me.
I have left feeling okay though and either a few hours later or thru the week 'bang' - its hits me hard. To help i will do the mindfulness and grounding techniques, i keep notes similar to a journal and i share this with my T so it helps in other ways too.
 
I have particular views about regular between session contact which may not be terribly popular - I think for the most part it can get in the way of the work. By that I mean that instead of you working through stuff at a pace you can cope with, you risk becoming overwhelmed - but you can then offload that to your therapist possibly becoming dependent on them to cope rather than building your own resilience. Better to go slower, at a pace you can tolerate, without needing too much support between sessions as a matter of routine - I recognise others will feel differently, this is just my view.

I've been in this stint of therapy for 3 years and can count on one hand the times I've used email for anything other than scheduling or admin. My therapist is available if I need her, she'll find a way to fit in an extra session if I need it - sometimes as quickly as 24 hours after my scheduled session. I've done that a fair few times and the sessions have always been very intense and productive. I've never routinely scheduled two sessions a week - I know if I need it I can book myself in.

Yes there are times I've wanted to move in with her, times when I've really struggled between times but I've really learned to know when I can cope myself and when I really do need additional support. And I've learned to ask for what I need and to trust it's there for me. If my T had offered in between therapeutic contact I know there are times I would have used it night and day because sitting with my own stuff was hard, and hurt so much. But I would have ended up very dependant on someone in a very unhealthy way.

I don't know if that's helpful or not - but I think sometimes the ever available therapist looks so attractive, but there are down sides too.
 
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