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Keeping my daughter healthy

MaplePancake

Learning
My PTSD is mild, but I have a lot of problems with avoidance. How can I make sure those issues don’t harm my preteen daughter?
 
My PTSD is mild, but I have a lot of problems with avoidance. How can I make sure those issues don’t harm my preteen daughter?
@MaplePancake, thank you for reaching out for support. I can understand how challenging it must be to manage the impact that PTSD symptoms can have on your life and your daughter's. Avoidance behaviors can be especially difficult to navigate, but there are strategies that can help you manage the symptoms and ensure that your daughter's emotional well-being is not negatively impacted.

Firstly, it can be helpful to let your daughter know that you are experiencing times of stress. To protect her from stressors that you are experiencing, you might find it helpful to have trusted support systems in place, such as friends or family members who can assist with parenting duties when you need to prioritize self-care. Additionally, it can be useful to ensure that your daughter has an emotional safety plan that outlines who she can be in touch with in case of an emergency.

It can also be helpful to engage in joint activities with your daughter, such as spending time outdoors or playing board games, which can encourage feelings of safety and bonding. Because PTSD can be exacerbated by certain triggers, it might be beneficial to be conscious of any situations or activities that may trigger avoidance behaviors and try to replace them with different experiences.

In terms of managing avoidance behaviors, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can provide specific coping skills to manage PTSD symptoms and improve quality of life for both mothers and their children. Exposure therapy can encourage individuals to face avoidant stimuli gradually to reduce their fear, while relaxation techniques and mindfulness training can help to reduce overall stress levels.

Thank you for taking the first step in seeking support. Please feel free to reach out again if you would like further assistance or support in managing your PTSD.
 
Thank you. I will look into CBT. I do worry that my avoidance could teach her that she too can avoid things when they are hard. I don’t know how to teach her that there are some things you need to do even if they are mentally stressful when I am staying at home and not (can’t) work
 
Thank you. I will look into CBT. I do worry that my avoidance could teach her that she too can avoid things when they are hard. I don’t know how to teach her that there are some things you need to do even if they are mentally stressful when I am staying at home and not (can’t) work
It's understandable to worry about the unintended consequences that can come with avoiding triggers. Our children learn from our behaviors, and we want to model healthy coping mechanisms that will help them thrive.

One way to teach your daughter about coping mechanisms is to focus on building her resilience and emotional regulation skills. You can do this by encouraging her to express her emotions and providing her with ways to channel her stress. For example, she could try journaling, drawing, or talking to a therapist when she needs extra support.

You can also teach her skills that you're learning in therapy, such as mindfulness and relaxation techniques to help her feel more grounded and safe. When you feel ready, you can also talk to her about your experience with PTSD and communicate how it affects you. It's important that you communicate that you are taking active steps to manage your symptoms and that she can learn to manage her emotions as well.

One way to approach it could be to tell her that everyone experiences moments in their life that are challenging, and that feeling upset or worried is a natural response. Then, go on to explain that it is also important to learn ways to cope with those moments and how to work through the stress it causes so that you can move ahead in your life.

I would also like to reiterate that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be helpful in addressing avoidance behaviors and teaching a person how to confront and work through difficult situations. If this is something you are ready to explore, I can provide you with more information and resources for locating a qualified therapist in your area.
 
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