I don't know if this is too specific, or if there is anyone on here like me. I have never had a chance to connect with anyone who has been kidnapped and held for any number of days. I was raped and beaten, but there were also things done to me that I'm not sure how to name. My therapist says I was tortured. I think torture belongs to people who have been captive under a hostile regime, or those in a war-torn state. I know labels are only to help us have words that might represent sets of experiences; but I do wish I could talk with others who wonder about torture. There is, in my mind, a difference between something being "torturous" - as in, incredibly painful to endure - and "torture", as in subjected to repetitive actions that are meant to alter behavior or reduce the person to a kind of nothingness. I don't even have good words for it.