Kittie's Journal

[scout86]

I'm going to go all conspiracy theory on you for a sec, even though it may well not apply him.

Some people would do something like the break in more to scare you than anything else. Possibly hoping to make you realize how much you need them or some other equally wacko thing.

 

[Sadielady3]

I hope you're okay. I also hope the asshat guy sitting in your driveway leaves soon. It's good that you're not going with him- this should prove beyond a doubt that he doesn't respect your boundaries by not accepting a simple no before you even live together. It was a great call you made, even if it wasn't an easy one.

 

[Freida]

I can't remember -- but have you looked into getting a restraining order? Because ya, this guy is nuts.

 

[Kittie]

My sincere apologies Kittie for MY stuff splashing on you today. No excuses. Just not myself and appreciate your situation and how you are handling it. Sorry.

No worries! If I'm willing to put my life's events out there for all to see, I have to be willing to accept the reactions.

Before technology, a therapist suggested I write my thoughts and feelings on paper. I threw them away. With this phone, I was shown Yahoo messages and wrote to no one, spilled my heart out and erased it. I asked Google a resource for PTSD and found this place and the diary option here, though I keep my entries toned down. It was never meant to bother anyone. I thought I'd get things off my chest and sorted, but paper was probably the better way...throw them out and no one is affected.

I hope you're doing all right, I'm a better listener than writer. Take care.

 

[Kittie]

I'm going to go all conspiracy theory on you for a sec, even though it may well not apply him.

Some people would do something like the break in more to scare you than anything else. Possibly hoping to make you realize how much you need them or some other equally wacko thing.

That's a possibility...one never knows what lurks in the minds of others.
Good news, he left!

 

[Kittie]

I hope you're okay. I also hope the asshat guy sitting in your driveway leaves soon.

He's gone, its a good day!

It's good that you're not going with him- this should prove beyond a doubt that he doesn't respect your boundaries by not accepting a simple no before you even live together. It was a great call you made, even if it wasn't an easy one.

It actually was an easy choice once I looked beyond the surface. I don't feel heartbroken and don't wish him sadness either. Once I started adding one and one and one more..the answer was zero! I don't regret my choice.

 

[RussellSue]

but paper was probably the better way

😟 I strongly disagree. There are times when we get stressed with one another's problems BUT part of what makes this place helpful is having the ability to sort those things out. Obviously, you can and will do what you want but I hope you stick to the open book policy.

 

[Kittie]

I can't remember -- but have you looked into getting a restraining order? Because ya, this guy is nuts.

After watching security footage, I will if he continues. I can ignore phone calls and text messages but if he makes himself a frequent fixture in my driveway, its an option I've been rolling around in my head. Definitely has anger issues. I'm an "ignore the problem and it will go away " person. I never want to cause negativity to anyone, I'm all about peace.

 

[Kittie]

😟 I strongly disagree. There are times when we get stressed with one another's problems BUT part of what makes this place helpful is having the ability to sort those things out. Obviously, you can and will do what you want but I hope you stick to the open book policy.

I've found other people's input most helpful. They come up with ideas I never would have thought of and a lot of positivity. I know I'm a weird case, never tried to hide that! I can even laugh at myself, but it took years to get there. I wouldn't want my crap to be disturbing to anyone, I'd rather be supportive to people.

 

[RussellSue]

I wouldn't want my crap to be disturbing to anyone, I'd rather be supportive to people.

My thinking is that you can be supportive most of the time but disturbing on occasion and that's lovely!

I go through things in here from time to time, also feeling like I am "a weird case." That's true and sometimes other people not getting me or getting stressed over me is overwhelming - so, I think I get it.

But I like you the way you are and I don't like the idea of you censoring yourself. That might be a little selfish but I also think it can be beneficial for us to have a place to be ourselves and learn to manage the gunk that comes up in the process. That's how I try to look at it.

 

[Kittie]

My thinking is that you can be supportive most of the time but disturbing on occasion and that's lovely!

I never, ever want to be disturbing! Maybe I'm too open. What was supposed to be a beautiful thing turned ugly.

I go through things in here from time to time, also feeling like I am "a weird case." That's true and sometimes other people not getting me or getting stressed over me is overwhelming - so, I think I get it.

You certainly have it together better than I do! I don't see you or anyone else as "weird".

But I like you the way you are and I don't like the idea of you censoring yourself. That might be a little selfish but I also think it can be beneficial for us to have a place to be ourselves and learn to manage the gunk that comes up in the process. That's how I try to look at it.

I'm the example of what NOT to be! Isolating myself from the world for so long I couldn't fit back in when I became ready. It felt right for years but may have been a mistake because it made me a round peg that can't fit into a square hole.

 

[RussellSue]

I'm the example of what NOT to be! Isolating myself from the world for so long I couldn't fit back in when I became ready. It felt right for years but may have been a mistake because it made me a round peg that can't fit into a square hole.

I was out in the middle of nowhere isolating, too. I came in here, got a little acquainted, and then left for at a year because I got upset about something. That happens.

But just because people don't understand what you are doing or why doesn't make it wrong and you are obviously a strong and capable independent woman who can make her own decisions. Nevertheless, people who care about you might also worry about you. That's part of the deal. Sometimes that concern can get hard to handle or comes out in overwhelming ways.

But you have no reason to be down on yourself right now. You are doing amazing! Look at all these people all over your journal and engaging with you! I think you fit just great, personally.