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Lack of Participation by Carers

Discussion in 'Supporter Discussion' started by Kathy, Jun 22, 2007.

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  1. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

    I feel it needs to be said, and this is in no way a complaint, but it is sad to me that the Carers board is often so woefully quiet. And if I am permitted to say so (please edit if I am overstepping!), the Private Carers area, of which I am a member, is dead silent and almost useless really. That is unfortunate as there are times when I would like to share and not worry that Evie will be reading and feeling hurt or out of sorts. She has now agreed to stay out of the Carers section all together, as we do wish to speak about her in here, we requested that of her and she has agreed to it. But being a curious person I'm sure she will peek occasionally.

    I am wondering what it will take to make this board more active once more. For what it's worth, I would be willing to help in that endeavour, in my own small way, if there was anything that could be done. There are times Jim and I feel so alone in dealing with Evie, dealing with our son too and his death. We have searched other forums, enlisted Evie to assist us, been all over the internet really, looking for family support for PTSD. There really is not much out there. That is why I think it would be splendid if people were more active here, it is very needed I'm afraid.

    I hope I have not come across as complaining, really I only wish for some of the support I see those with PTSD receiving in other areas of the forum, and I believe there is an excellent opportunity for that here, should enough people be willing to participate.
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  3. Maenad

    Maenad Member

    I just want to say that I totally agree. I've come here because I have nowhere else to go but responses are few and usually very slow in appearing. Often so slow that the situation I'm concerned about has passed.
  4. Cole

    Cole Active Member

    I agree with you on this one too
  5. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

    Hi Kathy yes you are right! When I first joined the forum early last year my posts were responded to regularly. I know I wasnt on the forum for a while later in the year but I noticed it had got quieter at that time.
    When I first joined it made me feel better to get on here and type away my problems it definetely helps it is a shame that you are not getting responses. I dont think you are complaining you have bought up a good point.
    I will attempt to get on here more often as I am at home recovering after an op:smile:
    Hang in there!
  6. jods

    jods Well-Known Member

    It's funny how it's gone all quiet lately.
    Maybe I should come on here & post more often.
    I will admit if I don't know what to say I usually keep my mouth shut (so not like me LOL). So I will try to make an effort even if it is to only offer a big hug!
  7. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

    I think I was a bit guilty of not coming on as much as things with hubby were ok plus I was working a bit. But he is being a pain in the arse again so it would be nice to see more participation from carers surely there are more than a handful out there.
    Come on have a whinge about your situation it helps to get it out one way or another!:thumbs-up
  8. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

    Guilty as charged myself Jen. Been busy, and when Evie is well I get quite complacent. Must learn to come here and share good things also. Expect it from her, why not myself.

  9. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

    Maybe it reflects how many carers there are? the results in the polls section suggests that that is a problem. Support from family and friends is sadly lacking.

    I suggested my friend came on here and read a bit but he hasn't. I'll suggest it again but its up to him.
  10. Nicolette

    Nicolette ♡ Supporter Admin ♡ Supporter Admin Sponsor $100+

    Hi All

    I'm new here and have been reading the site for some time and have commented to my partner that very little has been said in the Carers forum and virtually nothing in the Private Carers section for some time.

    Being new and having a partner who is doing very well with his PTSD I have little to share at this point in time but have been most interested to read the experiences of other Carers.

    As my partner said (and I agree) it is up to the Carers to use the forum to get the most out of it so perhaps you are all correct in saying we should perhaps look at ourselves and take responsibility for what we can do.... just as we need those suffering from PTSD to heal themselves by taking responsibility for what they can do to help themselves.

    Remember a trouble shared is halved and a joy shared is doubled.
  11. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

    Thank you to everyone for the responses. Seems we all agree, and at the very least we are all talking now! The board is a lot quieter than it used to be and I believe many of those who used to come here don't any longer, though I'm not certain why. Perhaps Jim and I are guilty too of not being so quick to respond to the threads of others in here, we were discussing that this morning over tea. It's not due to a lack of care, we care tremendously. Rather we often feel uncertain what to say. Most here are relating to a spouse or partner. Jim and I had problems early on in our relationship, but they were not due to PTSD, and that was over 30 years ago, so we sometimes have trouble remembering what it's like to be so at odds with your partner. We are very close now and have been for some time. To return to the point I was trying to make, our PTSD sufferer is our niece whom we consider as a daughter, and also our son who recently passed away. So we are parents rather than spouses, and the dynamics of that are definitely different, as those of you who are parents I'm sure are aware. So, we sometimes feel a bit out of place and that we don't have the right to comment at times.

    Nicolette, welcome to the forum, it is certainly pleasant to see you here and participating. I do so appreciate your attitude, you are quite right, we do need to look to ourselves and allow our family members to heal on their own. That is my feeling also. In any event, my husband and I will now endeavour to participate more often, if only to offer words of support.
    nie likes this.
  12. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

    Treading lightly?

    Hi everyone the thing I am having to deal with at the moment is that whatever I say to hubby he says I am snapping at him and talking to him like shit!
    My God even my daughter says that he speaks to me like shit and why do I put up with it!:angry-fla
    I have to put up with it as I am still recovering from an op and I ( we) need him to hang in there and run our business if he fell off the rails now we could end up in financial problems.
    Talk about treading on egg shells even my parents felt like they had to be careful in how they brhaved around him. They came and looked after me for a couple of weels after op.
    I am recovering slowly from major surgery he was so good when I first became sick but the novelty has worn off.:smile:
    Thanks Jen!
  13. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Hi Kathy,

    Let me just say, I can certainly find lots of ways for you to help if you desire. Firstly, I need a new moderator of the private carers forum, considering I do not have access to it myself, so I cannot manage nor moderate anything said or done within it. Kerrie is not really active here anymore, so that negates her holding the position I believe.

    I think some of the issue no doubt came down to Kerrie and I separating, and that people likely split both ways. Not sure, just a guess. If you want to boost carers Kathy, then I can certainly give you some more power in order to manage all carers aspects if you want it.
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