Other Land Boundary Violation


So my neighbor approached us about helping them with a fence on a shared property line, which was fine but they built a fence wall on our property facing the street when we explicitly said we did not want anything on our property and it threw me off balance and I feel like my boundaries have been violated and I am stuck in bed.

I couldn't breathe or get out of my car when I pulled up and I couldn't approach them while they were getting ready to leave.

My husband called and he is supposed to get a call tomorrow, but it has been 2.5 hours and I am still knocked down because of this.

Is it possible to have negative spoons? I'm beyond out of my capacity to handle it.

I alreadu struggle with a sense of feeling out of control and change is hard for me, but boundary violations of any kind are so much harder.


The sledgehammer is your friend. 🥰

Seriously. It’s your land. You can knock down anything anyone builds on it.

HOWEVER... You husband is doing the whoopsie-daisies diplomatic thing first. Which is okay. Laudable. Good neighbor kind of thing. They may very well have just been trying to be helpful/nice. If so? Fix will come soon. So? Good for him!!! Yay, Hubby!


HONEY. Sledghammers? Can be wicked fun to use. And you are sooooo in your rights to knock that bitch down.

So it’s a win/win. They undo what they did, or you do. Either way? That fence is going DOWN Down down. You might feel overwhelmed, flooded, right now....but? You also have ALL the power.

“I have the beat and shouting”
Last edited:


Thanks guys. A friend of ours came over last night to support (we are fully vaccinated), and it helped take my mind off it a bit.

I feel sick this morning and am trying to weigh pros and cons of calling in sick today because I feel unwell and like I can't manage these feelings.

I ended up emotionally detaching and just completely shutting down, so my husband called safe friends over to watch a movie to preserve some normalcy so I could try and decompress with no pressure, which was kind of him.

I have an uneasy stress hangover worrying about the phone call to the company my neighbor hired and worrying they'll say no we won't take it down, even though I know they can't do that.

Maybe a stress hangover? I feel uneasy and like any surprise or bubbling up of anything may pull me over today.

My stomach feels upset and my emotional "nerves" feel really raw and sensitive.


It’s very normal to feel like this. I understand. The damn cheekiness to just go ahead and do it…

I used to work as a clerk in a law firm. Cases like this fill up to 50% of all files. Generally a single letter signed by a lawyer with a threat to go to court make fences, bushes, trees and dog houses disappear in the week. Keep this in last resort but it’s always something you can do if the neighbor doesn’t comply.

That or the hammer.

It might be stressful to think about it in this way, but you can also remind yourself that you actually are in a position of power when you are right. Perhaps that thought help you regain some sense of control?

Good luck with everything. This is a rough moment! Sending smooth and soothing vibes!


I took a sick day today and I feel a bit better. I won't feel completely better until it resolves and we've had time pass, but it's something.

Now I'm just worried I'll get in trouble for calling in sick the day before spring break.


Hi everyone. Just an update for my own anxiety and help with the waiting, which is the WORST part for me.

I've basically called the fencing company every other day since they have been really wishy-washy about giving us a set date on when to come fix their mistake. They have decided to come fix it on Friday and notified my husband via email.

Over the phone, the office manager let me know that she did not have a set time on Friday as to WHEN they will be coming time-wise since they will be fixing it between jobs.

MY worry is they're going to rush the fix, and my other worry is they won't show up at all because the office manager said the crew had 3 other fencing jobs they were doing that day.

My husband is taking off work to watch them like a hawk to ensure everything gets put where it needs to go.

This fix only happened after I talked to them on Monday and mentioned that we have a quote from them that we are eager to renegotiate with them if they get this fix right to our satisfaction since it is our yard, and my backyard neighbor mentioned that they were willing to go all in on their fence, but are hesitant to contact the company until they see how they resolve our issue in a timely manner and are keeping a close eye on how this resolves, and MAGICALLY two days later they're sending a crew to work with us?

I'm highly suspicious they're going to rush the job and do bad things to us because we've asked them to fix what they messed up and I can't seem to get that out of my head.