Last Pysch Appt Today

[BDAR]

I think today will be my last pysch appt. I have some anxiety about it and I am also a little sad about it. It should be a happy time, I am getting better. I just feel like I no longer have that support in place, I guess a bit abandoned. It scary to be on my own. I have build up such a trust with my dr and I really like him, unfortunately he is with the hospital and can only see patients until they are stable for a long period of time. I have been stable for months now, so it is time to dump me back to my family doctor to handle maintenance. it is scary to be taking this next step in my life and it is causing anxiety.

In addition I have started a new part-time job after not working for 2 years and I am having a lot of trouble finding balance. I just find I am so exhausted from working, that I no longer have time for self care. This in turn has caused me to slip a bit back into old habits. Why it is so hard to do the right things to look after ourselves? It is so easy to stay up late, drink and no eat right.

Just needing a bit of support today

 

[scout86]

I can see why you'd feel some anxiety and also a bit sad. I don't know how the system works there. You said your family doctor will handle "maintenance". I can see where that might work for medication. No provision for any kind of therapy on an out patient basis? It seems like that would be helpful.

Old habits die hard! Good luck finding the right path and I hope you get all the support you need along the way.

 

[BDAR]

I can see why you'd feel some anxiety and also a bit sad. I don't know how the system works there. You...

Thanks for replying scout. I appreciate the support. The system is kind of weird here in Canada. Psych visits are covered by our health care system, but pyschs here tend to just push meds. Therapy is handled by Social Works, some family doctors and psychologist. None of them are covered by the health care system. If you have private insurance through an employer you can usually get up to 500 a year covered but at 150.00/hr...that is far short of what it takes to get well. I had spend 1000's and 1000's of my own money trying to get for six years. I finally cracked and ended up in the hospital where I got help by experts in trauma, with a good solid program that got me well, but it told over a year to get into the program and 2 years of counselling to get well enough to be stable. They only handle cases that have been hospitalized and where the people are in danger of offing themselves. Because of the huge waiting list, they only keep people for 2 years and you have to be very dedicated to the program, otherwise you are old. That means going to therapy and classes time they are scheduled and doing the home work. It was very intense....I could not handle the classes, to depressing, to much of people trying to one up each other as being the worse then the other person. I did not feel the instructors had good control over the class. I quit, likely should not of but I did. They agreed to continue to do one on one therapy with me and that was best for me, I am so much better.

I have operated the last few years with a safety plan of if I got sick, I would go to emergency and get help again from the hospital, however our government has put a new layer of crap in place where mental health patients must be referred from Canadian Mental Health Association. They have a 5 bed unit that they keep people in. They decide if you get to go to the hospital. I don't like that idea, but I know some of the people that work there and I could never bring myself to go there. So my whole safety plan has been blown away. Right now as long as I am a patient of this trauma program, I get admitted if I have a problem. I said once before I would never go back to the hospital but I ended up admitted a second time, so one never knows. Never say never. It was just nice to know there was an option. Now I feel there is none.

 

[scout86]

:( That sounds like a rather horrible (and stupid?) system. Different from ours here, but it doesn't make much more sense than ours does. I hear this stuff and think "What were they THINKING?! You have us, here, at least. I wish the people "organizing" health care could actually come up with a system that worked for PEOPLE. (You sound like you're at a point where you're probably going to be fine, BTW, even if it's scary.)

 

[The Albatross]

Well for maintenance there can surely be a lot of support here, welcome and I understand the anxiety... we have some French Canadian family who have had to wait long protracted times (some of them electing to come here for proper treatment).

 

[BDAR]

well, it is not my last appointment, he asked me to come back in Sept for another follow up????? I am frustrated, why is he asking me back? Here comes the self doubt, maybe I am not as well as I thought I was or am? Maybe it is because I said I am having trouble balancing my work, home and self-care? Maybe it is because I am expecting a decision in my case again my x-employer (human rights thing) in Aug? Anyway, I am a little disappointed that I have to go back, I had prepared myself for this to be the last visit.

Thank you so much for all the support! It is nice to know a few people care and are there for me.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

New challenges and taking new steps is scary and good stress affects me as much bad stress. It is a transitonal time. Good for you on getting a new job and being so stabalized.

 

[scout86]

Try to avoid second guessing either him or yourself! Maybe he's just trying to do his job the best he can, under the circumstances. It sounds like that would be a good time to check in and it's great that he's set it up so you can. (Isn't it?) Meanwhile, I guess you're stuck with us. Do you have anyone else in your life that you can openly discuss things with?

 

[AKP7]

I think today will be my last pysch appt. I have some anxiety about it and I am also a little sad about...

I totally get what you are feeling, hang in there. Im trying to become stable. The journey is real, and it helps if you have support.