Laughing at myself and my trauma response

mylunareclipse

MyPTSD Pro
Dissociation very prevalent lately in my therapy sessions. It’s like I can’t help it.
My head feels like it’s a zillion pounds and is about to snap out of my neck.
I feel folded in two and cannot move and speak. Eventually I come back. And can move. And all I feel like doing is laughing.
Laughing at this idiot folding in two, trying to be interesting or special. Acting like she cannot move, acting like something bad happened to her.
Ugh.
I told my therapist that much. I said I feel like laughing now. Laughing out loud at myself and how stupid I am.
Does anyone else have a similar experience?
 
I do this as well. I laugh when I try and speak and garbage falls out of my mouth and I also laugh when it looks like I've just fallen asleep or can't move my arms. I think I'm mostly laughing at the absurdity of it all. It's hard to describe but it does feel like I'm laughing at a reaction that a part of me feels is excessive.
 

mylunareclipse

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you all!! I see I’m not the only one!
I laugh and try to be silly a lot.
It just felt akward this time around for some reason as obviously my body was hurting and dissociated but at the same time i wanted to be on the outside and make fun of it. This wimpy thing is not ME. I am strong and nothing like this weak body. :(
 

mumstheword

MyPTSD Pro
I feel fortunate in that my guy friend, who has also been through ridiculous amounts of traumautic stuff, teases me endlessly, so even when I am feeling a bit sorry for myself, he'll tease me about it, so I have no choice but to laugh at myself and playfully wop him on his muscular arms and behind.

If we didn't act silly, as much as we do, things would be very hard, heartbreaking hard, and boring around here and I can't stomach much more tragedy.

I told him years ago, "I don't want my life to be a tragedy, I would rather a romantic comedy", luckily, we got together so that's how things are now. It's waaaayy better than my previous relationship that was with a "no joking around here" kind of person and he was super mean to me.
 
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