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Layout of Rooms - Back To The Walls, Doors In View

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batgirl

MyPTSD Pro
I wasn't really sure what to call this thread, but I'm wondering if anyone else is obsessed with the layout of rooms and the location of doors, windows, hallways, etc. I have a really big problem with this, and I'm noticing it more lately because I've been to the hospital, doctor's offices, support groups and so on, a lot more than previously.

For example, when in my doctor's office, I always have to choose the chair closest to the door. I get nervous if someone else is closer to the door than I am. I also have to be in a position where I can see the door and any windows simultaneously. I can't stand to have my back to any openings in the room such as windows, doors, or even a closet door. I note the location of all the objects in the room, the layout of the furniture, etc, and notice immediately if something has been moved since my last visit. Depending on what has been moved, I can be upset, angry, even cry over it.

Another example, I can't stand the waiting room at the health region. There are several rows of chairs, and even if you sit in the very back row, there is a door behind you, to your back. On the one side there is a whole line of big windows, and the other side 2 elevators, and another door. Directly in front is reception, and people are walking in and out all the time. I literally can't stand waiting in that room, because I can't keep an eye on all the doors and windows at once, there is no safe space for me. I usually end up freaking out whenever I'm there.

I have similar problems with people (other than family and friends). In an office setting, I get very uncomfortable if there's not a piece of furniture such as a table or a desk between me and a therapist or doctor. I can't stand 2 chairs across from each other with an open space, I need at least a coffee table and preferably something bigger in between myself and the other person.

Anyways, just curious if this is something other people's experience. It's quite severe for me, I end up mapping out in my mind every place I visit practically. It's exhausting.
 
Ohh yes, I've been obsessed with this for years.. I have to sleep closest to the bedroom door and my outside door, I CAN NOT sit anywhere unless my back is to the wall with a clear veiw of the doors.. sitting in Tim Horton's kills me as it's all freaking windows.. I find that I will sit where I can see both doors there and watch the reflections so that I can see behind me.. if one little thing is out of place, anywhere I go, I notice immideatly and get very jumpy. i use tables, chairs, my dog.. anything I can to make space between myself and others. and I get really really angry when someone invades my personal space (I call it my bubble)...

It's all part of hypervigilence and fear of others.. I'm sure most of us are like that.. normal PTSD crap.

bec

I just wanted to add that I don't really notice it half the time until it's pointed out as I've been like this/doing this for over 17 years now.. it's just normal to me so i don't seem to get exhausted from it.. mind you I bet my energy could be better spent elsewhere...
 
I have to face the door. Whether it's my office, bedroom, living room etc. I need to see the door easily. I also know the quickest way out of a room without having to think about it.

I just wanted to add that I don't really notice it half the time until it's pointed out as I've been like this/doing this for over 17 years now.. it's just normal to me so i don't seem to get exhausted from it.. mind you I bet my energy could be better spent elsewhere...

Did you feel crazy when it was pointed out to you? I never thought about it until I had to try and explain why my change in office location upset me so much. Made myself sound like a complete nutter!
 
LOL everyone who knows me just goes "ohh that's just bec" as if that explains everything.. so nope.. cause everyone thinks i'm nuts anyways.. LOL

bec
 
Yep, I prefer to sit with my back to the wall looking into the room. I sleep in the corner of the room. Its just another symptom. I look for the escape route all the time. When I feel myself doing this I'm working on trying to accept that I am safe where I am. I'm really bad at the therapist. I need to be in the corner, near the door when I'm there!
 
I always sit closest to the exit, doesn't matter where it is...
And I don't like it when people invade my space.

Up until very recently... whenever my therapist held open the door for me to enter... I would literally 'jump' through the door way... it almost felt like an obstacle each time... even though I trust him, I still must sit close to the door.

Oh yeah, and every where I go, I can describe the door to you... 'cause it's what I spend most of my time staring at.
 
I also need the "power" chair in the room. I hate the health centre waiting room and like others here, I need a clear space to leave the doctor/dentists room. I find that I am getting bigger problems with this since I told my doctor about my PTSD. My office is moving later this month, moving to "open plan" and my boss has taken the desk which I want, not looking forward to this. Hope I dont take it out on him!
 
against the wall

Wow.. I guess this is common with alot of people, not just cops. I'm not a cop, however my hubby (Ubu) is. When I go somewhere without him, I sit in a corner or with my back against the wall.. so I can see whats going on.. bad stuff about happen etc.. I run possible bad events through my head so I have a plan of action ready to go if necessary.. if my hubby is with me.. I give that position to him, cuz he's trained that way & seems to prefer it. Funny, or maybe not funny.. but its like we're all waiting for something bad to happen all the time. hmm.:think:
 
Wow yeah it looks like a lot of people have the same thing. That's good... one less thing I have to feel like a freak about...

Bec, I can't sit in Tim Horton's at all. I get take away whenever I go there, and from the drive-through at that. I can't even enter the building! It's the same with any other fast food restaurant where there are a lot of windows, doors and too much activity... I just avoid those places like the plague.

bec said:
I just wanted to add that I don't really notice it half the time until it's pointed out as I've been like this/doing this for over 17 years now.. it's just normal to me so i don't seem to get exhausted from it.. mind you I bet my energy could be better spent elsewhere...

I notice it all the time, I don't need it pointed out to me, but then I haven't been doing it for 17 years either (wow, what a long time!!). About 5 years only for me. And I don't do it at home at all, I guess home is my safe zone, so I really notice the difference when I'm out.

YA I can relate to remembering and describing features of doors. I also stare at doors a lot... floors and ceilings too. I can tell you the type of flooring, patterns on carpets and light fixtures of every office I've been in, and draw detailed diagrams of room layouts, etc.

vcc123 said:
Funny, or maybe not funny.. but its like we're all waiting for something bad to happen all the time. hmm.

Well something bad did happen to us. In my case it was only one incident, took only 5 minutes, but it changed the way I view the world forever.
 
You're right

Batgirl.. you're right.. something bad did happen. I guess its just sad that now we always seem to EXPECT something bad. Maybe we could look at it like being prepared!! yeah!! (more denial??) uggh.. I'm not paranoid, just extremely precautious!! :crazy-eye
 
Yeah I guess it's like being prepared. At least that's a nicer way of thinking about it. I always think it's because my brain is ****ed up now.
 
Another way to look at it is that we're the survivors! Its just that our basic survival instincts are extremely heightened and not exactly necessary in the world we live in. May have been handy in cave man times!

PS. What is Tim Hortons?
 
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