Let's talk about roommates

Octocurrency

New Here
Hey everyone! This is my first time posting. I've been in therapy for a few years and have had a lot of success adjusting to various triggers and sources of anxiety. That being said, I still struggle pretty significantly with my living situation.

I've lived with some great people for about a year and a half now. We're always laughing, sharing stories, and generally get along super well. They have their own lives and I have mine, but they've known eachother for a while and spend time at home hanging out and cooking together. Unfortunately, I've never been able to bring myself to join them outside of a handful of situations.

Despite how much we get along, I still panic everytime they come home, like they're going to judge me for little things. I never ask to join when they're watching a movie, even though I know they'd say yes. I have trouble asking to use anything that belongs to them, even if it's something they've told me I could use in the past.

I'm exhausted, frankly. I'm a social person, and hardly deal with social anxiety within my professional and friend circles. But at home it's profound. I just want to live and be comfortable but I just can't seem to find any relaxation around them. I always feel on edge and uncomfortable at home. I'd really like to know if anyone else has had experiences with roommates and working on those relationships?
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
I was mildly scared of my roommates because I feared they’d find out I’m a freak. Even if I, like you, had only good times with them. At the end I guess they just told themselves that I was a bit discrete and that’s it.
 

Anne Oakley

New Here
I have had good and bad roommate relationships. The better ones are always when I know the person and they show vulnerability around me. Power struggles in roommate relationships suck so if you feel that you'll be judged all the time, f that! I'm sure there is plenty to judge them on, but it doesn't sound like your doing that... We are all freaks. Really. Some of us have just found a way to fit into mainstream freak world.
My last roommate I could never get comfortable around so I just wore headphones more often. Yes, posably a suggestion that encourages avoidance but what the hell, it helped me relax.
 
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