Letting Go

[Defaultxlove]

It's good to talk, I just quickly ate a sandwich. I've been a bit freaked out aswell. It sounds like your maybe quite emotional. What kind of thoughts are you having?

Hmm sorry you too. Want to share? I'm curious.

For me: yes quite emotional but in control. Some things I spoke about without crying I had high anxiety . Then I started casually talking about a different part of the trauma and I started flashing back, crying, sweating the whole bit. It was short. Now I feel wounded :/

My thoughts are run away type thoughts. From everything and everybody. I know coming down needs to happen so I'm getting ready to head out for a bit gotta pick something up. But ahh idk I feel too shaky. Before we got off the phone I said I don't know if I'm okay. She reassured me and I forget what she told me to do.

 

[Survivor3]

Talking about deep emotional shit leaves us feeling vulnerable. you'll probably remember what she said later when you've calmed down. Is it a long drive out?

 

[Defaultxlove]

Talking about deep emotional shit leaves us feeling vulnerable. you'll probably remember what she said later when you've calmed down. Is it a long drive out?

Oh okay. Very vulnerable.. :/ thanks.

I need to remember new feelings don't mean bad. Because I'm tired of new combinations of feelings. Whatever that means. I'm tired of myself being annoyed with new sets of feelings. Or whatever I don't know what I'm saying.

The drives not far. I might go to some woods or something too I don't know.

I feel broken I guess. That's okay. Sigh.
Love to you

 

[Charbella]

I’ve read quite a bit of your story, I’m sorry for all you’ve been through, seems like life is really smacking you down lately.

I don’t know if anyone has said this to you, I read a lot then ADHD had me skip to the end . Youve said a lot of people have experienced more, as if you have no right to feel the way you do, but you do.

if the hardest thing you’ve ever gone through is _____, it’s still the hardest thing you’ve had to go through.

Compare if it helps, but don’t if it eats at you.

For what it’s worth I don’t know how I’d recover from that experience, cops, accusations, the health aftermath, all while trying to be parent, it had to of been so scary.

I hope your able to find relief and stability soon. Sending you well wishes!

 

[Defaultxlove]

@Charbella - thank you for reading and posting encouragement. It helped a lot

 

[Defaultxlove]

I'm on the emotion rollercoaster but managing really well. Thankfully

 

[Survivor3]

You've got skills! Glad that your managing well. It's tricky. Here if you want to talk.

 

[Defaultxlove]

You've got skills! Glad that your managing well. It's tricky. Here if you want to talk.

Yeah! Let's talk. I'm in the shed w/ tea. I just ate some mulberries off the tree. The deer were just here.

What's up with you?

 

[Survivor3]

I just made lemon and ginger tea. Ooh! Berries off the tree, wonderful! And deer aswell. That's a blessing.

I'm good, counselling was good. I'm relaxing now, horizontal on the couch. I'm wondering about cutting down therapy to every 2 weeks. Not sure yet. Just thinking. I think my saxophone lessons will be Monday at 11.30am. Which was my preferred day so yay!!

 

[Defaultxlove]

I'm really happy for you @Survivor3!

I'm low on words I guess, but glad you shared...your goodness is contagious.

I'm very tired today. Moving slow but very productive. It's surprising and enjoyable!

 

[Survivor3]

Thank you my friend ❤

Moving slow is good.

 

[Defaultxlove]

Just got off the phone w/ the psychiatrists office my Dr wants me to see. It was difficult. Now I'm throttled. I was physically shaking at one point. So many questions.

I need to chill out now.