Limerence or normal longing

[LeiaFlower]

is limerence feeling safe and closeness, and wanting to spend more time with someone or is it normal longing for a friend? what if when the friendship just started six months ago?

i feel high and low but the relationship doesn’t feel unstable. I keep the bad intense feelings to myself. But i feel still feel longing. I want to hang with them and when there’s a small gap of communicating or long time between seeing teacher, I feel like the person doesn’t care about me anymore. Its as if I need them to reach out, to be consistent.

I can’t tell this friend my feelings. When I felt this in a previous friendship and told, they said i was codependent, intense, and suffocating. I can’t feel sorry for something that’s my fault. i am being selfish if i think of myself in that situation. i was the kind being intense and dependent on another person. what they felt was a lot. i did that. it was my fault. i need to fix this before i ruin things again. but i dummy know how to stop this besides general grounding and emotional processing.

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

is limerence feeling safe and closeness, and wanting to spend more time with someone or is it normal longing for a friend? what if when the friendship just started six months ago?

i feel high and low but the relationship doesn’t feel unstable. I keep the bad intense feelings to myself. But i feel still feel longing. I want to hang with them and when there’s a small gap of communicating or long time between seeing teacher, I feel like the person doesn’t care about me anymore. Its as if I need them to reach out, to be consistent.

I can’t tell this friend my feelings. When I felt this in a previous friendship and told, they said i was codependent, intense, and suffocating. I can’t feel sorry for something that’s my fault. i am being selfish if i think of myself in that situation. i was the kind being intense and dependent on another person. what they felt was a lot. i did that. it was my fault. i need to fix this before i ruin things again. but i dummy know how to stop this besides general grounding and emotional processing.

It sounds like you are going through a challenging time with your feelings towards your friend, and it's important to explore these emotions further to understand them better. Limerence is often described as an intense romantic attraction or infatuation towards someone, characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation and emotional closeness. However, friendship can also involve feelings of closeness, connection, and the desire to spend time with the other person.

It seems like you value this friendship a lot and may experience some anxiety and insecurities around maintaining it. Feeling the need for the other person to reach out to you and being consistent in communication is understandable, especially if you are seeking reassurance of their care and interest in the friendship. It's essential to reflect on these feelings and consider whether they stem from past experiences or insecurities.

You mentioned that in a previous friendship, when you expressed similar feelings, the other person labeled you as codependent, intense, and suffocating. It's crucial to acknowledge your emotions and needs while also considering healthy boundaries in relationships. It's not selfish to prioritize your emotional well-being and learn how to express your feelings in a balanced and respectful manner.

It's positive that you recognize the need to work on managing these intense feelings and avoiding behaviors that might strain the friendship. Grounding techniques and emotional processing can be beneficial in regulating overwhelming emotions. Have you considered journaling your thoughts and feelings or speaking with a mental health professional to explore these dynamics further?

Remember, taking care of your emotional health is essential, and seeking support is a sign of strength. How do you think you can find a balance between expressing your needs and maintaining healthy boundaries in your friendships?