Living in a small place, seeing a T


Just wondering if anybody else lives in a particularly small area and sees a T in that area. I live in a pretty small place and it is tricky and funny sometimes because of the interconnectedness that I sometimes find with my T and I. Back a decade ago I really struggled with it as I had a lot of trouble maintaining boundaries and I saw that interconnectedness as an opening of sorts. Now, I don't really struggle with it, just find it amusing. For example, my T's daughter was a year ahead of me in school, we had mutual friend. Another one of his daughter's I taught on a teaching practical when I was training to be a teacher many moons ago. Just stuff like that that pops up over time.
Has this happened to anyone else living in a small place? How do you find it? Weird, tricky, or it doesn't bother you?


I kinda live in a small city, so I can relate to what you‘re to talking about.

With my first T, I would occasionally see her if I went to a sport event, but this was a rare occurrence. Also, I had a mutual friend with her son in university. But, it was never a problem because we had discussed this, and agreed to not call to each other if we saw each other in public. I preferred it that way because I never wanted to have to explain to anyone who she was. I don’t see her anymore now.

My current T though is someone I see at the university I attend, so I see her more often outside of therapy, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day (because of COVID-19 this doesn’t happen anymore). This was quite worrying at first, for a couple reasons. I don’t talk about being in therapy with my friends, so I was worried they would find out. I was also worried that she might approach me when she saw me, especially when I was with other people, which could potentially lead to me having to explain why I know her. Plus, I had a couple professors that worked in the same building that she worked in, so I was worried about what they might think when they see me going to her office every week for my appointment. And, I just found it quite awkward and uncomfortable having to see her every day, knowing that she was aware of my past trauma.

All this took a lot of getting used to, but we made sure to discuss how to handle seeing each other outside of sessions, and agreed to not acknowledge each other. With professors that I would see, we might call to each other but it has yet to become a problem for me (I probably was just overthinking about how they would perceive me). With friends, I have been able to admit to them that I see a therapist (although not the reason for it), so the fear I did have about having to explain anything to them isn’t there anymore. But, something positive that I never foresaw was this actually being somewhat helpful to therapy. My therapist said that being able to see how I interact with people outside of therapy has allowed her to understand and better address the concerns around interconnectedness and how I relate with others, and I can better explain things to her based on what she’s seen. It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve been seeing this therapist at my university, and although I was worried about all this at first, so far it hasn’t been a problem for me.


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Before she became a therapist, I used to volunteer at my old therapist's organization under her direct supervision. Under normal circumstances, she probably should not have been my therapist but she was the only therapist in town, so...

Her husband was also the local sheriff's deputy and we knew each other well because there were a few incidences with people sobering up at my house, then crashing into cars after relapsing and driving back to my house -- that sort of thing. He was great, though. I really liked that guy.

It was a little odd at times, but for me, living in a small town is always a little odd. I don't handle the lack of anonymity well.