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Other Locked In A Box -v- Voluntary Bad Living Situations

enough, I think we have all had to make a choice and pick the lesser of 2 evils, I know I have felt that at times. No pitiful you, its ok to acknowledge that it SUCKS sometimes. I notice people working in hot sun or wet cold temps outside and wonder how they do that everyday, I dont think I could. I see others who work their butts off and still struggle. So I do acknowledge that my life is really easy right now, but it hasn't always been for sure. While I have certain benefits, it has had a price of diminishing self worth in some ways. (No paycheck, no purpose, loss of goals). Thats my choice though, its a trade off, but it is a choice. Even when both choices stink, we have options, and knowing that can be empowering as well.
 
@brat17
One of the things that modern society has taken from us is the awareness of other peoples struggles. I know more about people I know on line than in my daily real world life, it takes away my empathy, it frustrates my ability to help, and it totally messes with my objectivity about my own struggles.
@Friday posted this thread and it is about choosing between bondage and freedom in a possibly worse situation, I feel like I derailed it by calling my chosen career a form of bondage and bankruptcy a worse existance. Not even in the ball park if the original post.
we all have internet access and a diagnosis, a truly bad existence is suffering with our disorder in solitude with no forum to share our struggles or hope of treatment. Even on the bleariest of mornings when I feel like a hamster on a wheel, I got a wheel, I got a diagnosis and treatment, I got a cell phone and a cup of coffee, what the hell do I freaking want?
 
enough, I dont think you derailed it, I think what you said is what most of us think but hadn't said. I do think a career can be a form of bandage. When it doesn't feel like there is much choice, that feels like a form of bondage.Im very sorry if my post made you think differently. I only meant to point out that if we can find options, we may still chose the one we are in, or not, but it may help empower.
 
I don’t know if anyone here shares the trauma duality of imprisonment …& either… DV, stalking/assault etc., or just a ‘bad’ living situation deliberately chosen over worse living situations.

I’ve been held against my will, a few times, in a few different ways, to different ends.

I’m relatively okay with all of that.

It’s the CHOICES I make, having choices, that both gut me & totally disconcern me to the point that I don’t relate, rightly, to those who have never known the extremes.

It means I avoid shelters, camps, and other places with… easily avoidable consequences.

And a few other things. Other consequences.

Anyone with me, here?

No worries, if not.

But I’m also not averse to points of light in the darkness.

I left a note for myself on this one, because it itches. I was hoping it would emerge, instead it just itches.

Can you expand on any of it? There is something here but my fingertips are only grazing the surface.
 
trauma duality of imprisonment …& either… DV, stalking/assault etc., or just a ‘bad’ living situation deliberately chosen over worse living situations.
Mine, more like worsest vs worsestest and not knowing which one was which until I experienced it. Then having people accuse me of making horrible decisions because I am not choosing which one they would choose - even though they have no freaking idea what they are talking about? Anyways, nvm. Yes, I do have experience with this.
The good thing that I am finding is that this is not something that I had a proclivity for - as my world has settled down I am absolutely finding myself being drawn to calmness and peacefulness in my living situation. For me, this whole shit show has been a consequence of my circumstances.

No idea if this is what you mean, but these are my thoughts on this. Best wishes for you Friday.
 
It’s the CHOICES I make, having choices, that both gut me & totally disconcern me to the point that I don’t relate, rightly, to those who have never known the extremes.

Funny - t and I are working on this topic right now. We are tackling how the decisions I made led to the environment I lived in, and how when it went badly of course I went straight to blaming myself for not making better choices

She says that our decisions are made based first on the information we have at the time. At that moment, based on what is happening right then. Then they are based in what our mindset is, at the time Clear headed and stable makes a much different decision than PTSD hell o flashbacks and fear. Which one drives our choices at the time

Not looking back and second guessing, but acknowledging we made the least worst decision based on (again) the information we had at the time. So ya, did some of your choices suck? Probably. But truly, what were the options you had then? Not now, looking back. But then, in the moment.

I think that's what is so damn hard. We look at where we were, what we were doing, the choice we made. But we leave out the parts of the story that led us to those choices

And ya - your story is at the extreme end of trauma life so being around those who can't get it, but are in the same situation you are? Ya, that would explain you not wanting to be around them.
 
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