Look Back on your 2021 Therapy Achievements

Digz

MyPTSD Pro
I was thinking today about the year that is almost over and what it's been like. It was a difficult year in many ways with lots of new memories surfacing for me, but I wanted to look upon the year in a positive light and consider what I have achieved.
This year I tackled so many memories of torture in childhood, I've expressed them in writing and sometimes directly to my T. I always knew my parents were horrible people but I have begun to realise just how evil and self-centred they were and I can congratulate myself for surviving my childhood. But not only that, I feel proud to have ended a family cycle of abuse and to have provided my 10 year old son with a loving, safe and supportive environment in which he grows and knows he is always valued.
And although I have stopped working this year as I tackle all of this and other people in my life have their opinions on what I should and shouldn't be doing, I think I am doing well and doing the best thing for me at the moment. My body has been ill because of the stress of the past and choosing to deal with it is the best thing not only mentally but physically for my future. I cannot outrun my childhood, it happened, it's a horrible part of my life but dealing with it is the best way to stop it negatively effecting my future.
I have learnt to use yoga and meditation in my life for calming, I have rebuilt trust with my T and overcome transference. Whether I'll be back at work as the new school year begins in February is an unknown still for me, but I think that's okay. I can't control how the effects of the past play out, all I can do is manage them and address them as they come, stay strong and think about the joy in my present life.

What have you achieved this year?

It's a nice feeling, I must say, to think about what I've overcome rather than what I've been dealing with. :)
 

Teamwork

MyPTSD Pro
I never missed a session, even if sometimes I had to do some online and disliked it greatly. I learned to be honest with my t. Not that I was dishonest, but the type of honesty where I didnt withhold the truth of what I was thinking or doing. I signed up for quite a few trauma conferences that were free. I bought a book that had worksheets and did them with a friend in another city online. We were doing well but then kind of got off track and stopped. I joined a few zoom support groups which actually broadened my therapy goals because it wasn't all on my t to help. Those spaces were good because others in the groups were going through similar or had books, thoughts , ideas they shared that spurred me on to investigate and try different approaches. I got over some significant fears I had. don’t know where they went but started to noticed I was less and less panicked when the situations came up. Mostly I learned a lot and built a community that I can go to outside of therapy which the pandemic caused, but its not a bad thing.
 

Digz

MyPTSD Pro
I learned to be honest with my t. Not that I was dishonest, but the type of honesty where I didnt withhold the truth of what I was thinking or doing.
I know what you mean, this can be quite tricky at times. It is something I still struggle with sometimes as it can be hard for me to get words out sometimes, but if I can't get them out verbally I write them down for my T. I think this kind of honesty strengthens what you can achieve in therapy.


Your post made me so happy, you have done wonderfully. You can bee very proud of yourself, it sounds like you have undertaken so much in a year to transform your life. It's amazing! 🤩
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
What a great thread @Digz !

I did my smear and didn't freak the way out with it. Thanks to T. (Unlike the first attempt at it earlier this year).
I stopped thinking I raped me. Massive.
I overcome several ruptures with T and learnt a lot about my insecurities and how overwhelming they are, and how they cloud my judgement at times. So have learnt to take a step back and be curious about what is happening inside.
I have been able to name more than a couple of feelings that I have.
I have learnt about triggers and been able to notice when I am triggered.
I have learnt to be a bit kinder to myself and that I will not combust if I make a mistake. And T will not terminate me.
I have learnt that it wasn't my fault.
I have learnt that in my wish to stop others hurting, I can be over bearing at times.

So wow!
 

Sideways

Moderator
I lodged a claim against my primary abuser for compensation.

It's not going to result in any money, but it was important. I used to refer to him as "the nicest man I've ever known". Now he's my 'primary abuser', and I can behave like what he did to me isn't okay.

So yeah, lodging that claim was definitely an achievement. Big win therapy-wise.
 

Friday

Moderator
Nada.

I took a break from therapy (Covid), started drinking a helluva lot more than I usually do to mask as much as possible, got my first “real” job in years, new ID, bank accounts, life stuff… and I think therapy can stay on hold until I unf*ck my life enough to actually be able to manage adding “let’s f*ck things up even worse than they are now”. 😉

Not a dig against therapy in any kind of way. I fought against the “stabilize first, therapy second” thing for a looooooooooooooooong time. And, quite frankly, there are a whole helluva lotta things I could have done differently if I could have a) afforded it b) was willing to give up my kid c) didn’t care about what was on my “official” &/or “do you swear under penalty of” record.

Therapy wasn’t all bad. I had a badass totally wicked cool/ knowledgeable/ useful therapist. But I also have a very finite tolerance for all things XYZ. REMOVING therapy from my life? Freed up enough of that energy to put towards life-stuff. Which was sorely needed.

So my big accomplishment with therapy is NOT doing therapy, for at least awhile. If not longer.
 

Digz

MyPTSD Pro
That is one heck of a list @Movingforward10 ! Well done, that's amazing! I struggle with the 1st one on the list, had my last while I was out to it under anaesthetic (as I was having a laproscopy anyway). Due for another one and dr has ordered me a self-test kit for the first time, so I'm hoping that will not be as hard to manage.

@Sideways - Go, you! That's awesome! My T has mentioned in passing that it is possible to make an accusation to police simply for the reason of holding my perpetrators to account in a small way and simply for the embarrassment of them having to be questioned as a form of empowerment. For many other reasons it's not something I've chosen to do, but even thinking about it takes such courage. Super impressed! I hope it gave you some empowerment.

@Friday I totally understand that. My T has said a number of times, "Therapy can be disruptive". He also says that therapy is something that he expects people to come and go from, take breaks from whether that be months, years or forever. My last break from therapy must have been 8 or more years and I was functioning during that time, working and being a mum. It was only really when a plethora of flashbacks began after being triggered and I needed extra support to get through it that I returned. Until then, I was dealing with flashbacks and triggers myself. Currently I am taking a break of a month at least as it is school summer holidays here and I want to be present with my son and my husband who is also on holidays.
 

Chris-duck

MyPTSD Pro
I've actually done pretty good in T this year, like not by other peoples standards probably, but it's the first time I've uh probably really engaged tbh. Which is also mostly due to T, and how competent I decide they are. But there is defo shit I can talk about now and not dissociate or freak out over. I can name feelz and notice my own body. Things I'm not entirely *for* now, but was defo *against* a year ago. I don't hate myself quite as hard and as much as I'm feeling shite right now, that used to be the norm.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
This year's therapy has been really good. My counselor never sets homework or tasks but will challenge me or use some "cbt" on me if I'm saying I can't do stuff. The trust that we've built up is really important though. I'm nearly at my 60th session and I don't have to hide my thoughts and feelings at all. There's just this feeling of I'm safe there and he really knows me.

Sometimes we laugh and joke about things which is nice. It's not all doom and gloom. I really like, admire and respect him. He has filled a massive void in my life. I don't think he likes seeing me beating myself up too much when I feel too much guilt for the mistakes I've made in my life. He'll often say, "do you really think those people are thinking about that stuff anymore? Their just getting on with their lives and your still punishing yourself"!

I've had some terrible therapists but I'm just so glad that I have this guy in my life.😃
 

Mach123

MyPTSD Pro
I haven’t seen my therapist since covid started . I doubt I’ll see her again ever for in office sessions. Not regularly and I haven’t told her that. But that’s just a right now thing. The political landscape could change. I don’t resent her about this but her office I do. I won’t do zoom therapy and they won’t allow FaceTime, so we have only done phone sessions all this time.

Overall though, with the lack of stress from driving In, she’s in the city and I’m in the burbs, I don’t feel I lost all that much. Zero sum gain kinda. I used to be out of the house a little more than five hours for that 45 minute session.

There is also something about not being in physical proximity to her that probably helped me and I never really thought about that till I started trying to write this . I may speak to her about it next week, today was our day but she’s off for the holiday.

The rest of it went along , the process continues , I believe in it, I think it works , but it has to be with the right person. At least for what we had to do, which was unpack my CSA.
 
B

Bodhi☆

I was thinking today about the year that is almost over and what it's been like. It was a difficult year in many ways with lots of new memories surfacing for me, but I wanted to look upon the year in a positive light and consider what I have achieved.
This year I tackled so many memories of torture in childhood, I've expressed them in writing and sometimes directly to my T. I always knew my parents were horrible people but I have begun to realise just how evil and self-centred they were and I can congratulate myself for surviving my childhood. But not only that, I feel proud to have ended a family cycle of abuse and to have provided my 10 year old son with a loving, safe and supportive environment in which he grows and knows he is always valued.
And although I have stopped working this year as I tackle all of this and other people in my life have their opinions on what I should and shouldn't be doing, I think I am doing well and doing the best thing for me at the moment. My body has been ill because of the stress of the past and choosing to deal with it is the best thing not only mentally but physically for my future. I cannot outrun my childhood, it happened, it's a horrible part of my life but dealing with it is the best way to stop it negatively effecting my future.
I have learnt to use yoga and meditation in my life for calming, I have rebuilt trust with my T and overcome transference. Whether I'll be back at work as the new school year begins in February is an unknown still for me, but I think that's okay. I can't control how the effects of the past play out, all I can do is manage them and address them as they come, stay strong and think about the joy in my present life.

What have you achieved this year?

It's a nice feeling, I must say, to think about what I've overcome rather than what I've been dealing with. :)
This year has been life changing for me also. Traumatherapy has opened my eyes to what my childhood and the last 38 years of my life have been. A cycle of trauma. I am very thankfull for the EMDR therapist that is helping me right now and for my guidancecounselor who has been very patient with me in my adventure of healing. I see the dynamics in my family for what they are pure based on facts and I can say for myself, I would not let any child or person be exposed to the malicious abuse, neglect and manipulation that I have experienced. Here in Belgium there is still some adversity to CPTSD and it has been appaling how some very high educated people disgustingly disacknowledge it. Nevertheless I am very proud of myself that I am putting myself first for the first time in my 39 years on this planet and this universe. As my healing journey continues in 2022 I am thankful for the love and kindess that I have been blessed to receive and from the bottom of my heart I send all my love and kindness to all who are in desperate need of it. I just wanna say, you got this and you are a superhero to me ;-) love y'all xoxo
 
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