Sufferer Looking for a place to fit in I guess haha.

Hi! I'm Sarah, I was diagnosed with cPTSD in 2018, though it has been a struggle to get any treatment for it. I was previously diagnosed with Bipolar I and did meds and treatment for that for years upon years and they never helped at all, just made me more irritable. Most providers after the one that diagnosed me refuse to recognize the cPTSD diagnosis and want to still do bipolar treatments. I don't have health insurance anyway now, and I'm in the midwest (US) where mental health treatment seems to be an even bigger joke than it was on the west coast. So I guess it doesn't matter.

Anyway, I had a pretty bad childhood with constant physical/verbal/emotional abuse from my mom, some sexual abuse from her boyfriends, and just a generally pretty terrible time until I got kicked out at 15, thankfully. I've had a rough go, and have been homeless a lot, and then I was married for about ten years. That started off great and slowly turned into another abusive prison that I thankfully started to recognize (even if wayyyy late) and got out a couple years ago with pretty much nothing but my clothes and my dog.

Now I am struggling to hold down a job and find my own place to live. I am currently staying with my mom, which really sucks and was a last resort, but I only have until april to find my own place and it's not going well. I'm so stressed, and just sad that it's so hard to get an apartment even though I'm making more than I ever have in my life and have good credit for once. It's still not enough to get by in the world.

But, I have literally zero support in my life. My family does not care at all about me or my problems, and the few friends I've had in my life have all moved on. So I'm just kind of dealing with everything on my own and it would be nice to find a place I can kind of fit in or feel understood, y'know?
 
Welcome to the forum! You have found a special place to learn and be accepted. I am sorry for the childhood abuse. I often wonder what “normal” would have looked like.

I have been a member for over 10 years and have received friendship and valuable input from other members. I stay to be supported and to encourage others along their journey.

Blessings, good vibes, and hope sent to you that you will find just the right place to live!☮️💟
 
Thanks so much for the welcomes, everyone! I really appreciate it. I'm really excited to meet people here who understand some of the struggles we all deal with, and to see if there's any way I can help or support anyone else.

I often wonder what “normal” would have looked like.

I wonder that a lot too. I always think about where I'd be if I had a supportive family who hadn't actively worked against me growing up into a healthy person. But then I also try not to think about it since I can't change the past. Such a conundrum lol.
 
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