cpdl_toronto
New Here
Hello,
I should first say that I am 35, but every 10 years, since I was 14, bad luck comes around.
First at 14 I was swarmed and beaten by a gang of 10 - 20 people, getting a taxi togo home. there was no reason for it to occur. never had nightmares or anxiety of any kind, I dropped out of school and attempted todo menial cleaning jobs, but nothing worked.
Ten years later, I began having vivid dreams and nightmares, also what's called "persecutory delusion's", to make it short, I almost ended up sleeping in a church for homeless people.
My parents took me to a psychiatric hospital, where I was put on a legal form taking away my rights and putting me in a involuntary commitment, I not could not leave until taking medication.
Almost 2 months later, after pressure from everyone, I took the medication and went home.
Began some minimal schooling, but nothing resulted from it, and now am going todo an undergrad.
Again ten years later, I have been taking many different medications and developed a sort of agoraphobia, and spent 4 years inside my home, doing nothing.
I began taking small trips to buy cigarettes at the store.
On one of these trips, I was alone walking and a man began acting violent and loud behind me, I looked around and noticed I was alone, so I continued around the corner to a collection of dumpsters (later everyone would say I should have hidden in the store, and if necessary call the police).
He followed me around the corner, and said something, but at that point I had been so stressed for months without sleeping normally, and with what you would call symptoms, and waiting for a new medication / drug to take effect.
I reacted badly and pushed him, during the incident, he dislocated my shoulder, and punched me on the floor.
From what I have read it is one of the most painful major fractures that can occur, along with a hip fracture.
I still do not know if my arm will work properly in the future.
= MY REASON FOR THIS POST, I cannot compare myself to others, but in everyone of these things, I remember it from the outside.
1) when I was swarmed, I lost consciousness several times, but for some reason remember it from a view of outside, just a large group, 15-20 people kicking something around a car, shoulder to shoulder screaming and kicking something on the floor.
2) Again with this situation, I remember the view from the ceiling, above this couch, watching myself.
3) And finally with this injury/attack, I remember it as if I was standing infront of the store, seeing myself struggle to get off the floor, and running into the store, carrying my arm dangling.....
MY QUESTION IS : has this happened to anyone else, because these are not major injuries, but very weird, seeing things from a point of view floating above you / from a third person perspective.
Thanks again, any comments or advice would be helpful. Take Care.
I should first say that I am 35, but every 10 years, since I was 14, bad luck comes around.
First at 14 I was swarmed and beaten by a gang of 10 - 20 people, getting a taxi togo home. there was no reason for it to occur. never had nightmares or anxiety of any kind, I dropped out of school and attempted todo menial cleaning jobs, but nothing worked.
Ten years later, I began having vivid dreams and nightmares, also what's called "persecutory delusion's", to make it short, I almost ended up sleeping in a church for homeless people.
My parents took me to a psychiatric hospital, where I was put on a legal form taking away my rights and putting me in a involuntary commitment, I not could not leave until taking medication.
Almost 2 months later, after pressure from everyone, I took the medication and went home.
Began some minimal schooling, but nothing resulted from it, and now am going todo an undergrad.
Again ten years later, I have been taking many different medications and developed a sort of agoraphobia, and spent 4 years inside my home, doing nothing.
I began taking small trips to buy cigarettes at the store.
On one of these trips, I was alone walking and a man began acting violent and loud behind me, I looked around and noticed I was alone, so I continued around the corner to a collection of dumpsters (later everyone would say I should have hidden in the store, and if necessary call the police).
He followed me around the corner, and said something, but at that point I had been so stressed for months without sleeping normally, and with what you would call symptoms, and waiting for a new medication / drug to take effect.
I reacted badly and pushed him, during the incident, he dislocated my shoulder, and punched me on the floor.
From what I have read it is one of the most painful major fractures that can occur, along with a hip fracture.
I still do not know if my arm will work properly in the future.
= MY REASON FOR THIS POST, I cannot compare myself to others, but in everyone of these things, I remember it from the outside.
1) when I was swarmed, I lost consciousness several times, but for some reason remember it from a view of outside, just a large group, 15-20 people kicking something around a car, shoulder to shoulder screaming and kicking something on the floor.
2) Again with this situation, I remember the view from the ceiling, above this couch, watching myself.
3) And finally with this injury/attack, I remember it as if I was standing infront of the store, seeing myself struggle to get off the floor, and running into the store, carrying my arm dangling.....
MY QUESTION IS : has this happened to anyone else, because these are not major injuries, but very weird, seeing things from a point of view floating above you / from a third person perspective.
Thanks again, any comments or advice would be helpful. Take Care.
