Sufferer Looking for supportive people - CPTSD and Panic Disorder from childhood stuff

[RachelBigby]

I have CPTSD and Panic Disorder from childhood stuff. Presently in counseling, and in the process of getting a psychiatrist. I’m good at hiding pain and being there for others. Most times I don’t tell people anything about my troubles. I can be in the hospital and my friends won’t know. Even with family in my home it’s on a need to know basis. They don’t know I’m sick until I say I need the ER. I don’t want to inconvenience others or make them worry.

Sometimes I wish I could let it all out, say I’m not well, say I’m so depressed, say I wake up every morning praying for the pain to end. I’m tempted, but then I think I’d just cry myself into a tizzy, and what could they do to help me.

It’s so hard to find caring people I feel comfortable to tell. Hoping an online support group could help me. I’ll support others as much as I can.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome to the Forum! It is and has been a big piece of my healing journey for over 11 years.

I think you have found a gem of a place, with empathy and compassion to be given and received.

Your words resonate in my own story due to childhood stuff, then as someone who didn’t make good decisions because I thought I was worthless.

At 66 years old, I can say that my issues are “resting” most of the time, having worked for many years in therapy and found the right meds to regulate my feelings without deadening the good emotions.

It’s been a rollercoaster at times, but I want to live now, and I know that I am not worthless, and never was.

The administration of the forum is phenomenal and dedicated to keeping it a safe place. It would be good to check out the rules so there are no surprises.

The best of blessings are being sent your way over the internet and hrough the airwaves

 

[Sideways]

I don’t want to inconvenience others or make them worry.

There’s nothing convenient about being unwell. Hope there’s leas trips to the ER in your future and more support. Welcome to the forum!

 

[Weemie]

Welcome!

 

[jenny1978]

What you said above is exactly me. I don't know where to turn. I cussed out my therapist yesterday for a trivial reason. Now I don't even have her. I want to recover from cPTSD, but I don't know how.

 

[RachelBigby]

@jenny1978 I’ve learned it takes time, creativity, and perseverance to get anywhere with this condition. I’m currently in the process to build out a support system. As you’ve seen it can’t depend on one or two people.

 

[jenny1978]

Yes so true.

 

[silverlinings1069]

I have just been diagnosed and have no support system as well. It is challenging. I have never been able to trust anyone due to my childhood trauma. And now that I know, I am nervous about telling anyone. I hope you are able to find what you need.