Losing daily memories

[SophieBernstein]

Hi, Dr. Catalyst, I´ve been eventually losing more and more of my daily memories since one month ago, and also I´ve been having more presence of an internal "mad girl" who I guess I´ll call Pain I had problems like this before, in the last summer It happened the same but instead of only one there where like 4 of them and my memory loss were worse. And three years ago I felt her too, she wanted to kill me and she almost got it.
The fact is I don´t know what to do with it because everytime i have the presence of those i ended up in the hospital. I know I could do something to get back some of my memories but it would take a lot of effort and I am scared of them too. When I am fine without depression they usually came back and it´s a little distressful. What may I do? when I had talked about it to my therapist it doesn´t really make a diference. And I don´t even have DID, why I have those "people"?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

Hi, Dr. Catalyst, I´ve been eventually losing more and more of my daily memories since one month ago, and also I´ve been having more presence of an internal "mad girl" who I guess I´ll call Pain I had problems like this before, in the last summer It happened the same but instead of only one there where like 4 of them and my memory loss were worse. And three years ago I felt her too, she wanted to kill me and she almost got it.
The fact is I don´t know what to do with it because everytime i have the presence of those i ended up in the hospital. I know I could do something to get back some of my memories but it would take a lot of effort and I am scared of them too. When I am fine without depression they usually came back and it´s a little distressful. What may I do? when I had talked about it to my therapist it doesn´t really make a diference. And I don´t even have DID, why I have those "people"?

Hi @SophieBernstein, thank you for reaching out to me. I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with these distressing symptoms and struggles with memory loss. It sounds like you have experienced these "internal personalities" or parts before and that they have caused you significant distress in the past.

It's important to note that these experiences are known as dissociative symptoms and are not uncommon in individuals who have experienced significant trauma. Dissociation is a way that the brain copes with intense stress or trauma to protect us from feeling overwhelmed by it.

It may be helpful for you to speak with a mental health professional who has experience in working with trauma, particularly in dissociative symptoms, to help you better understand and cope with these experiences. They may recommend different types of therapy, such as Cognitive Processing Therapy or EMDR, to help you work through the underlying trauma that may be contributing to these experiences.

In the meantime, there are some self-help strategies that can be helpful in managing dissociation. Grounding techniques, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and focusing on your senses can be helpful in bringing you back to the present moment and reducing dissociative symptoms.

It's also important to prioritize self-care and take breaks as needed. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation can help to reduce stress and distress.

I hope this information is helpful to you. If you have any further questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to reach out.

 

[SophieBernstein]

Hi @SophieBernstein, thank you for reaching out to me. I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with these distressing symptoms and struggles with memory loss. It sounds like you have experienced these "internal personalities" or parts before and that they have caused you significant distress in the past.

It's important to note that these experiences are known as dissociative symptoms and are not uncommon in individuals who have experienced significant trauma. Dissociation is a way that the brain copes with intense stress or trauma to protect us from feeling overwhelmed by it.

It may be helpful for you to speak with a mental health professional who has experience in working with trauma, particularly in dissociative symptoms, to help you better understand and cope with these experiences. They may recommend different types of therapy, such as Cognitive Processing Therapy or EMDR, to help you work through the underlying trauma that may be contributing to these experiences.

In the meantime, there are some self-help strategies that can be helpful in managing dissociation. Grounding techniques, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and focusing on your senses can be helpful in bringing you back to the present moment and reducing dissociative symptoms.

It's also important to prioritize self-care and take breaks as needed. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation can help to reduce stress and distress.

I hope this information is helpful to you. If you have any further questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to reach out.

But even if it is dissociation, why? I don't think I have a significant trauma eventhough I've been diagnose with PTSD because It's not that bad from my point of view. I mean I have never been kidnapped or tortured...

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

But even if it is dissociation, why? I don't think I have a significant trauma eventhough I've been diagnose with PTSD because It's not that bad from my point of view. I mean I have never been kidnapped or tortured...

It's important to understand that trauma affects individuals differently, and what may be traumatic for one person may not be considered traumatic for another. Trauma can also occur in various forms, including emotional, physical, sexual, and psychological abuse, as well as neglect and witnessing traumatic events.

It's possible that you may have experienced trauma that you may not even be aware of, such as developmental trauma that occurred during childhood, which can impact brain development and lead to long-term difficulties. Additionally, repeated exposure to traumatic events, even if they may not have been as severe, can still result in the development of PTSD and dissociative symptoms.

It may be helpful to further explore your past experiences and work with a therapist who is trained in both trauma and dissociation to better understand and process any experiences that may be contributing to your symptoms.

Remember that healing is a process and it's important to be patient with yourself. It can take time to work through trauma and related symptoms, but with the right support, it is possible to find healing and hope.

 

[SophieBernstein]

I had a friend that she had 13 years old and her boyfriend the same age. She had sexual relations because she was scared of breking up the relation if she did't do that. What was that?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

I had a friend that she had 13 years old and her boyfriend the same age. She had sexual relations because she was scared of breking up the relation if she did't do that. What was that?

It's not uncommon for people who have been abused or traumatized to engage in sexual behavior because they feel that it's their only option, or they feel pressure to do so. In situations like the one you've described, it's possible that your friend may have been experiencing coercion or pressure from her boyfriend, or that she felt like she needed to comply with his wishes to keep the relationship going.

It's important to understand that engaging in sexual behavior before the legal age of consent is considered statutory rape and can have serious legal and emotional consequences. If your friend experienced this type of situation, it's important for her to seek therapy or counseling to process and work through any feelings of shame, guilt, or trauma that may have resulted.

It's also important to have open and honest conversations with young people about healthy relationships, boundaries, and consent to help prevent situations like this from occurring in the future. If you or your friend need any additional support or resources, please don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional or a local crisis center.

 

[SophieBernstein]

So she suffered CoCSA?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

So she suffered CoCSA?

Coercive Sexual Contact (CoCSA) refers to a situation in which the perpetrator uses coercive tactics to engage in sexual behavior with another person who is unable to provide informed consent. In the situation you described where a 13-year-old girl felt pressured to engage in sexual behavior with her boyfriend, it is possible that coercion was used. Coercion is characterized by a power differential in which the perpetrator uses their power to manipulate and control the victim to engage in sexual behavior.

It's important to note that engaging in sexual behavior before the legal age of consent (which varies by state and country) is considered statutory rape, regardless of whether coercion was involved. If your friend experienced a situation like this and is currently struggling with trauma or emotional distress as a result, it's important for her to seek support from a licensed therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma. They can help her work through any trauma symptoms she may be experiencing and support her in the healing process.

 

[SophieBernstein]

I wanna cut myself now. I've already cut my arm.... help I don't know what to do and i feel i can't control this

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

I wanna cut myself now. I've already cut my arm.... help I don't know what to do and i feel i can't control this

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with the urge to self-harm. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help, and I'm here to support you.

It's important to know that self-harm is a coping mechanism that can provide temporary relief from emotional pain, but it's not a sustainable or healthy way of dealing with your feelings. There are other coping strategies that can be more effective in helping you manage your emotions and reduce the urge to self-harm.

Here are some things you can try right now when you feel like self-harming:

1. Use grounding techniques - try to focus on your body and your surroundings. Feel your breath moving in and out, notice five things that you see, four things that you feel, three things that you hear, two things that you smell, and one thing that you taste.

2. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member - talking through your emotions with someone else can help you feel less alone and help you process your feelings.

3. Try a healthy coping mechanism - some people find that activities like exercise, creative expression, or deep breathing can help them manage their emotions.

4. Remove any objects or triggers that might make self-harm easier - if there are specific objects in your surroundings that you have used to self-harm before, remove them from your surroundings.

5. Seek professional help - talking with a licensed therapist or counselor can help you develop more effective coping strategies and support you in your healing process.

It's important to prioritize your safety right now. If you feel like you may harm yourself and you don't feel safe, please reach out to your local emergency services or a crisis hotline for immediate support.

Remember that healing is possible and you don't have to go through this alone.