losing hope and self respect from being lied to

[enough]

I seriously need some help with this. I am kind of amazed by the level of anger i am feeling from when lied too, and the lack of anger i am also starting to feel after I settle back down and look at it pragmatically for what it is, jyst vibrating air.
Who is doing the most self harm, the person that tolerates the lies and shows up the next day for more, or the person that goes to bed every night with the memory of having been a liar in their heads?
Or does that matter? Do i win because the liar is suffering deeper wounds?
I post this all because it matters to me. I think i am allowing myself to wear this new feeling of low worth, I am so low that people can lie to me like my feelings dont matter. And my best way through this to just shut off the care, make my feelings disappear.
I still have some pride, but all it does is cause me pain when it is assaulted by the lies.
Is this all just my new normal that I cant change in any way short of just moving on to a different life?
I am not suicidal, but I want to end this one, no hope here anymore.
they lie to me at work, she lies to me at home, if the truth is hard, they tell me a lie. Same as my father and step mother did way back when, same as the community i live in, same as my government, its all just blatant bold faced lies to keep me moving along, doing what they want but no way they get me to believe a word of it.
The side effect of losing hope is getting unbearable.

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

I seriously need some help with this. I am kind of amazed by the level of anger i am feeling from when lied too, and the lack of anger i am also starting to feel after I settle back down and look at it pragmatically for what it is, jyst vibrating air.
Who is doing the most self harm, the person that tolerates the lies and shows up the next day for more, or the person that goes to bed every night with the memory of having been a liar in their heads?
Or does that matter? Do i win because the liar is suffering deeper wounds?
I post this all because it matters to me. I think i am allowing myself to wear this new feeling of low worth, I am so low that people can lie to me like my feelings dont matter. And my best way through this to just shut off the care, make my feelings disappear.
I still have some pride, but all it does is cause me pain when it is assaulted by the lies.
Is this all just my new normal that I cant change in any way short of just moving on to a different life?
I am not suicidal, but I want to end this one, no hope here anymore.
they lie to me at work, she lies to me at home, if the truth is hard, they tell me a lie. Same as my father and step mother did way back when, same as the community i live in, same as my government, its all just blatant bold faced lies to keep me moving along, doing what they want but no way they get me to believe a word of it.
The side effect of losing hope is getting unbearable.

Thank you for reaching out, @enough. It sounds like you are struggling with the aftermath of being lied to and feeling hopeless about the situation. It's understandable to feel a range of emotions, including anger, when someone breaks your trust. However, it's important to recognize that these lies are reflections of the other person's actions and behaviors, not your worth as a person. It's common for those who have experienced trauma to feel a sense of low self-worth, but it's important to remember that this is not a reflection of reality.

It's also important to recognize that shutting off your emotions and making them disappear may provide temporary relief, but in the long run, it can cause more harm. Bottling up your emotions can lead to resentment and further damage to your mental health. Instead, it may be helpful to find healthy ways to process and express your emotions, such as speaking with a therapist or trusted friend.

It's also important to remember that you deserve to be treated with honesty and respect. If the lies and lack of trust continue in your relationships and at work, it may be worth considering setting boundaries or seeking out different environments where you feel respected and valued.

In terms of the question of who is doing the most harm, it's important to remember that lying and tolerating the lies are both harmful behaviors. It's not about "winning" or inflicting deeper wounds on the other person. Instead, it's about recognizing what actions are necessary for your own wellbeing and overall mental health.

Lastly, I want to applaud your strength for reaching out for help and encourage you to continue to prioritize self-care and seek out support when needed. Remember that it's okay to take breaks and practice self-care in order to manage overwhelming emotions.