Losing my psychiatrist

Fadeaway

MyPTSD Pro
I haven't been on for a long time, at least a year if not more. I was doing really well, and tell her I learned my psychiatrist won't be able to see After Next month due to insurance issues. FYI I have no idea why half of everything I type is underlined. I can't seem to fix it.

Anyways, I didn't think it would be so hard oh, but she's the one person in the world that I think ever truly understood me and was there for me. And I think that's what helped make me stronger. She was kind and felt safe. I know she's going to do her best to set me up with somebody that she thinks is a good fit, but it feels like such a huge loss. I know that can't be healthy right? She's a professional and I'm client. I don't feel like I'm being abandoned because I understand she has to do what's in her best interest for her career. At the same time I'm losing the only person who knows the real me.

It's brought back some issues that I thought I had already worked through. Stuff I didn't even think would be related to this. How do you grieve something like this?
 

Faith Andrews

MyPTSD Pro
So sorry and for what it’s worth I would would feel the same way. Grief is hard but you are not alone and so happy you came here.

I just came back here after taking a break as well. I’m so happy we have each other.
 

Warrior Chicken

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks for coming back and sharing this challenge here. I’m in a very similar situation myself, my psychiatrist may take me back eventually, but I have to prepare that he won’t. Like you, I understand that it’s nothing personal.....but yeah, it’s a huge loss. Especially when they’re the only person who you’ve been truly open with. That’s tremendously difficult to do once, and even though I’m told it gets easier with subsequent people, it just doesn’t seem possible right now.

The questions I ask myself:
- do I need to find a new person
- can I go this without support
- what do I need support with most
- are those issues relevant to my existence

The trouble I’m having is that I can exist quite well. But I’m not ‘living’. Right now, the concept of ‘living’ is not strong enough to push me to find a new person, it’s far easier to just merely exist.

This is likely not very helpful, but it’s how it is for me currently. Maybe you feel less alone knowing someone else is going thru the same. Maybe we can track how things shift as we both go thru this.

Anyways, I get it and you’re not alone.
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
I am also losing my therapist after this week until/unless I start paying him as a coach at a later date. It was a short relationship but he was my favorite out of 15 years worth of therapists - and I was far from loyal, having more than a dozen to compare him to.

I don't like it and I don't have any good advice. Sorry. I think it will be a grief process that will get better in time. It is hard right now, though.

Best of luck with the new psychiatrist you are set up with.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
She was kind and felt safe. I know she's going to do her best to set me up with somebody that she thinks is a good fit, but it feels like such a huge loss. I know that can't be healthy right? She's a professional and I'm client.
FWIW, I think this is an entirely normal response. In some ways, the therapist-client relationship is like any professional partnership - you build a rapport with this person, you know you can depend on them to understand you, and the project that the two of you have been working on is, well, you.

I think it's healthy to feel sad, and afraid, and even angry. Those feelings are your experience, and they aren't inappropriate to the situation.
I don't feel like I'm being abandoned because I understand she has to do what's in her best interest for her career. At the same time I'm losing the only person who knows the real me.
This is what tells me your reaction isn't out-of-scale. If you did feel that she was abandoning you, or deliberately leaving you to fend for yourself - if you weren't capable of also seeing how this is her choice to make, and it makes sense for her - then, you'd have reason to worry.

I'm glad to see you again, though I'm really sorry it's under these circumstances. I hope that you do end up building a new relationship with your next Psych. that is just as helpful and supportive as this one has been.

(When my first real psychiatrist eventually moved on, I was so scared and did not know how I was going to get through it. She and I had been through everything together. And then the next two I had both ended up leaving the practice about three months after I started with them...and then I ended up with someone I thought I would never get along with, but it turns out he's an excellent doctor for where I am, now. If I'm honest about it, he's been better for the current 'me' than my old psychiatrist would have been. Just goes to show, you never can tell how things will work out. I'm sending lots of support.)
 
Top