My hurts for you and anyone else who suffers from this illness. It’s not fair and I’m sorry you have to deal it. I guess for me, I’m hurt and embarrassed, this mess makes me look like an idiot. I tried hard to be a good friend to someone who clearly had nothing for me. Thankfully I never told him I had feelings for him. Only that I cared. Thank you to everyone for the insight you gave. You’ve been a blessing to meNo, there is no blame. It's no one's fault. Before it had a name it was around. For me, PTSD is an illness of attachment among other things. I was abused as a child by my parents, so I developed attachment issues. I am not able to have relationships like others. If you had done everything differently, it would have had the same result.