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Lost and confused - conditional employment

Discussion in 'Employment, Education & Disability' started by FauxLiz, Jun 22, 2018.

  1. FauxLiz

    FauxLiz Well-Known Member Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    I was recently extended a conditional offer of employment for a job I was really on the fence about accepting. But as I was soon to be homeless and unemployed it made sense to accept the job.

    Fast forward about three weeks, I am struggling to find housing of any sort ( the only open rental had a kitchen that did not have a stove or oven, the refrigerator was two steps down and across another room and those were the good parts.

    I found what I would deem a reasonable rental about 30 min away in another town but when I brooched living there with the organization rep it was like I was considered telecommuting from 3 hours away and never being in the office.

    Then the rep started going over my background, Criminal and driving checks and wanted to know if she could have a copy of my divorce decree. I have been divorced for over a decade both kids have reached adulthood my divorce is relevant. But this rep has to give their final recommendation on hiring me or not at the board meeting next week and I don’t know if it will be positive or negative.

    I am regretting so much leaving River Oaks early to participate in the interview process right now I just feel like even if she gives a positive Rec. and I can live in the place 30 min away without timeframe to move to the primary location or lose my job I will be starting out with the rep against me which is not a good place to be.

    Sorry for the really long vent I just don’t know what is going to happen or what I want to happen.
     
    scout86 and Faith Andrews like this.
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  3. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    Out of curiosity... why even broach where you live with the Rep unless you were looking for some kind of work accomodation?

    Is where you live something they need to know, or was this a kind of blurred boundaries thing with giving too much info to the wrong person (and they’ve misunderstood why you were telling them), or...?
     
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  4. barefoot

    barefoot I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

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    Sounds like a stressful situation @FauxLiz

    Is the offer of the job conditional on passing these other checks and this rep giving you the green light?

    Living 30 minutes drive away is what I would call pretty local! Not sure how they can object to that. Or how it is really any of their business where you live. It’s surely up to you where you live and up to you to decide whether that’s a manageable commute for you to do every day (or whatever your work pattern will be)?! I’m not usually an advocate of lying but, next time you have to speak to the rep and if they ask about where you’ll be living, could you just say it’s sorted and not offer any other info/be vague on details if they push for more info? Or else say the opposite - it’s not yet sorted but there are a couple of places in the pipeline and you’re confident you’ll have somewhere nearby very soon? I just can’t see how it’s reasonable for them to potentially recommend you don’t get the job because you’ve told them you’ll be living half an hour away.

    As for wanting a copy of your divorce decree - that sounds way outside the scope of what what an employer needs. What did the rep say it’s needed it for?

    I’m not familiar with the idea of organisations having a rep in the way you describe. What actually is their role? As in, are they coming from an HR background or are they a lawyer or what...?

    Btw, if the rep ends up recommending you to the board and you are “alllowed” to live in the property half an hour away, I wouldn’t see that as the rep being against you. I would say it was the opposite.
     
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  5. FauxLiz

    FauxLiz Well-Known Member Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    Where I live is in question because I work in the government sector. The US state that I live in is a non-residency state but that doesn’t mean preference and extreme pressure isn’t placed on my to live in the community in which I work.

    The rep in question is the organizations attorney the offer is conditional on the checks and the attorneys recommendation but never in my life have I been asked for such unrelated details like my divorce decree. I really have no idea what purpose it would serve.

    As to why I think I will be starting out on the wrong side of this person it is a gut feeling. Between wanting information that didn’t seem reasonable to making crazy suggestions for possible live solutions (why don’t you check with the local bed and breakfast about a long term arrangement for you to live there?) Sort of thing I know that I struggle when dealing with other women in positions of power but this meeting just gave me a bad feeling.
     
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  6. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    Oy vey. Sounds like State Department housing solutions.

    If they want that kind of work around, will they be ameniable to a reach around, and give you a housing allowance as part of your package?
     
    scout86 likes this.
  7. FauxLiz

    FauxLiz Well-Known Member Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    It’s a smaller community so seriously doubt a housing allowance is an option. Honestly the solution I found is to me the only option and I don’t want some lame restriction like they will allow it for the first year but then I have to relocate. The place I found 30 min away is in a much larger tourist area, is where I will most likely be doing all my grocery and other regular shopping. The complex is less than 10 years old has a pool, 24 hr fitness center, garages, allows my cat, monthly social activities so I can try to keep from isolating, stainless appliances a balcony, privacy and so much more. Winter will be brutal as they average annual snowfall is just under 9 feet (approx 3 meters) so could be some slow drives to work and home but that is my worry not theirs.
     
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  8. scout86

    scout86 I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

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    It's taken me a long time to get to this point, but these days I figure if anything, including a workplace, seems unhealthy, intrusive, creepy, etc at first glance, it will probably only get worse. And do I need to take a job that's going to be insanely stressful just long enough to find something else & quit? If this is for some kind of security clearance, it might make sense. Otherwise, the answer to "can I see your divorce decree?" is "no".
     
    barefoot likes this.
  9. FauxLiz

    FauxLiz Well-Known Member Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    @scout86 this isn’t for a security clearance and I agree that if it is starting out this way will most likely only get worse. I had been considering leaving the field in order to regain a sense of privacy but I lost my job before I could secure another and as my land lord refused to extend my lease because he wants to sell I was placed in a position of accepting the first seemingly reasonable offer that came along or be unemployed and homeless. At this rate I honestly think that if I do get the recommendation and I do get to make the move I will view this as a short term solution I will make it work all the while putting my energy into finding a better healthier option. Professionally I am expected to spend at least two years in a position before I consider another opportunity but if I am leaving the profession that won’t really apply.
     
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  10. barefoot

    barefoot I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

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    I think seeing it as a short-ish term solution to unemployment and homelessness makes sense. Even if this job isn’t perfect - which it doesn’t sound like it is - I would imagine that unemployment and homelessness would probably be more stressful options. Especially if you’re thinking you want to lead the field anyway.

    Suggesting you find a b&b to live in long term sounds like an unhelpful in impractical suggestion to me. The place you’ve found sounds lovely (apart from the snow - I’m not a fan of the white stuff!)

    I just cannot see why they should get their hands on your divorce paperwork. Seems totally irrelevant to me and I can’t imagine what they think they need it for. I’d be tempted to agree with @scout86 and decline their request to see it/have a copy of it. But if you really need to get the green light and think pushing back on this will scupper your chances and if there’s not a significant problem for you to share it (beyond it pissing you off because it’s irrelevant) you might want to go ahead and let them have it.

    If you need the green light from the rep and you think these things potentially have the power to help/prevent that, it’s really up to you to choose which hoops you are prepared to jump through to get the outcome you want (ie the job)
     
    Friday, scout86 and FauxLiz like this.
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