Sufferer Lost confused help - Severe anxiety & disassociation

Kaylove498

Confident
I'm new to this and I suffer from severe anxiety. I have a million questions and just looking for support or possible answers.

I've been through somethings in my life in the last year. My mother n law had a great attack while it was just me and her I began CPR on her we've always been very close. The good news she made it but naturally I'm scared she'll pass.

A few months later we lost her son my brother n law who I was very close to to cancer and I was there physically saw him before he passed and was with him through the hardships before his passing.

Me and my spouse had a rough split soon after due to stress and we have gotten back together I actually was the one to decide to leave for a few weeks being that I want thinking clearly.

I moved back in with my mother for a month and things were rough. Arguments and stress overload.I began to dissociate so I started therapy and if course there were in betweens to all of those things.

My question is lately I've been feeling off - things look strange people feel unfamiliar - which I know is because of the depersonalization and derealization. My problem is at times like tonight for example I'll look around and feel confused as if I'm in my childhood home again visually I know I'm not but mentally I feel as though I'm in a dream and that when I'll wake up I'll be back in my child hood bedroom which I know isn't mine anyone we moved several times after I turned 11. I've heard of flashbacks but this doesn't seem like a flashback being that I know where I'm at it's more of a confused feeling like how do I know certain people or why am I here.

I have memories of all the years that have passed but it's getting to the point where I'm terrified It feels like I'm going insane. Can anyone please explain what this could be and possibly give reassurance that I'm not losing it??
 

Friday

Moderator
Can anyone please explain what this could be and possibly give reassurance that I'm not losing it??
The simplest answer is that PTSD is extremely reactive to stress, & symptoms nearly always uptick in response to stress. So it makes sense that as more and more stressors have jumped on your life? Your symptoms are jumping up in response.

This explains better than I ever could >>> The ptsd cup explanation
 

Kaylove498

Confident
Thank you I appreciate it I just got confused because I'll know where I'm at and the reason they don't feel like flashbacks is because I was told flash backs are usually only bad traumatic memories that your flashing back to. I'm not sure if you could have a flash back to a good memory or not but that's what I go back to is feeling like I'm a kid again I know I'm not but I'll feel like I'm in my childhood home. I am seeing a therapist for all the trauma and stress so hopefully some of this can be relieved through that.
 

KimmyO

Learning
Wow, no wonder you are going thru so much anxiety, I am sorry that you had to go thru all that. You are obviously a strong person, just going thru so much stress! It is tough on a person and stress depletes you of magnesium which is needed in stressful times. So taking that will help you a lot. It calms the mind body and spirit and ginseng will get rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop around. Also, laughter is healing, so watch some funny shows, and read some funny books. I recently watch 3rd Rock from the Sun again all thru, it is so funny! Some of it is crass and vulger, but it is funny. A good funny series to read is the Miss Fortune series. It is a great distraction from hard times in life. It also has some crass and vulger parts, but not too bad. Allow yourself grace, don't expect from you what you wouldn't from someone you love, be kind to you and avoid those who cause you more stress and anxiety. Best to you, dear. You are strong and will overcome, and help others down the road. <3
 

Kaylove498

Confident
Thank you so much it's been very tough some days I feel completely gone like I'm not even physically here although I know I am.I will try the magnesium for sure.I recently got into a doctor's and will be starting meds which I am very nervous about.I was a past alcoholic and stopped cold turkey 8 months ago before all the chaos broke out.since then I barely even take am ibuprofen,I know the meds will help but it frustrates me that I do need something to cope when I've come so far with my sobriety.
 

KimmyO

Learning
Thank you so much it's been very tough some days I feel completely gone like I'm not even physically here although I know I am.I will try the magnesium for sure.I recently got into a doctor's and will be starting meds which I am very nervous about.I was a past alcoholic and stopped cold turkey 8 months ago before all the chaos broke out.since then I barely even take am ibuprofen,I know the meds will help but it frustrates me that I do need something to cope when I've come so far with my sobriety.

Good for you, I'm proud of you, you are able to overcome and move on to better things! We are a product of our choices, ...then there's grace. Make good small and big choices, step by step and you are on your way. =)
 
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