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Lost in Space With My PTSD

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beatle_bailey

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Hello all my name is Beatle Bailey I'm from Mass
have PTSD ,, when and where it all started is lost in space ,, I'm going to see if this site will help with some of the things that go on in my mind ,, maybe calm some anger ,, se you around....:loopy:
 
Hey beatle, welcome aboard. I can understand not being able to see the clear lines if there really are any of when PTSD seems to take hold if you suffered for many years, but the lines will start to show once you start working on it. But do you at least know what gave it to you?
 
lost in space

I was a rambunshis care free kid , and young adult with lots of trama Or injeries starting when I was 5-9 can't rememberthe age thru 21yrs but at my 21 birthday I almost got killed in a accident at the end of my military term ,, then met the love of my life Donna an X-Ray teck ,, would have married Donna ,, but we got separated by the army ,, Donna got shipped to Turkey ,,,, the next thing I got months later was a letter from her mon saying Donna had been Raped and Murdered ,,, My mother said I was never the same ,,, but there have been many outher things that have happened in My life ,,, so who's to know ,,,, I preformed CPR on a Girl I didn't even Know ,, I was the first on the seen ,, She had been shot 5 times ,,, all I could do was care for her ,,, she died in my hands just as the EMT's got there ,, Gee thet got to me ,, I'm an alcaholic ,, I grew up drinking ,, lots of car whrecks lots an lots ,,, so many things so many but I still miss Donna to this day do you need more ,,, :dontknow:
 
lost in space

Hello Veiled
I think maybe when a women I loved and would have married was raped and murdered ,, but so many other things have happened over the years who's to say ,,, things happened before and after ,, some pretty brootal ,,a couple just as tramatic ,,
I stink on a PC ,, did you get the last message I posted or tried to reply with ,,, :dontknow:
 
Yes your messages come through, you are just currently in moderation being new... So one of us editors/moderators has to read and OK the message before it hits the board. Nothing wrong with the computer or your skills :)

Sounds pretty hard beatle. It will and can get better on how to handle it in time. I know it sounds like a load of BS but this board and so many others on it can help so many that are willing to help themselves. You can learn a lot here from kindred spirits.
 
lost in space

I have been going to AA for a long time I got 13 yrs together ,, at a little over 9 yrs I had a mental melt down or a brake thru I finally morned all the deaths and wrong doings I caused and forgave me for the past ,,, you see ,, when I got sober a couple of times ,, It was strongly recomended I be on somthing to help me thru the things I was dealing with ,,, but since I drank away every feeling I ever had , I thought I should feel every bit of pain so I could finally go on ,, and it worked for a good bit ,,, till more stuff happened ,, the friend I have must have seen the PTSD rearing it's ugly head in me again and told me of you guys and your site ,, I don't think it will ever get as bad as it once was ,, god willing but I what to heal more ,, I do believe it is possible I just wont to try hear ,, I do know I'm discontented with the way things are going right now
Beatle
 
Sounds like you have a good friend there able to see what was going on and point you here! A good support system like you will find here and your friend is worth it's weight in gold.
 
Yes my friend and I have a very strong relaytionship we can tell when eather one of us is off balance or out of our mind ,and so on ,, I changed my sobriery date , to december 6 , and when I started to go back to AA ,, I searched that friend out ,, we had lost touch ,, I searched out a bunch of people out that have known me since 1987 give or take some years ,, so I could get a strong footing ,, because so far the only good suport I have is in AA ,,, this will be helpful to I hope ,, I also have AIDS and Hep C
all there suport groups are badly lacking ,,
 
Sorry to hear such bad news... You will be fine here, with a lot who care.
 
Hi BB,

Welcome to the forum. BB, do you still drink now? In other words, are you an alcoholic still? If not, how much do you drink, if any?
 
lost in space

yes I am an alcohalic ,,, no I do not drink ,,haven't had a drink in 15+ yrs ,,
had a bit of trouble with pain meds for a while and took nine 30 mil MSIR's :doh: {morphine quick release } and it did nothing but piss me off,
make me blow lunch ,,, thats why I changed my sobriety date ,, I try to deal with the Physical best I can , with massage and ciropractic and a bit of exersize,, Today I woke with a very stiff neck ,, so I had to cancel a Kayak trip down the river ,,
Beatle Bailey
 
Welcome beatle bailey, So glad you found us. There is a lot of excellent info. on this forum as you will find. Great support and real opportunity to discuss and get out the painful trauma(s), get support with, analyze, resolve, heal and learn a great deal. :hello: Again, Welcome beatle!
I changed my sobriery date , to december 6 ,
Tell us, what does this mean? Beatle are you saying the last time you had an alcoholic drink is Dec. 6th? (of wht yr.) What went on with you that you changed your sobriety date, and why? Help us to understand. And, How are you currently treating, (or not) living and/or coping with your PTSD?
 
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