Sufferer Lost My World - Coping With PTSD, Anxiety, & Grief

lostmyworld

New Here
I suffer from childhood PTSD; I’m in my 40s and have been a caretaker for my grandmother for 15+ years. She passed away almost a month ago and my PTSD, Anxiety on top of grieving it’s all to much. I sat by her side for 6 months; stopped working and school.

All that Ive loved and kept going for is gone. Everyone says I’m strong.. Now i have her house.. no job.. won’t be able to go back to school.. I pray to whatever higher being to take my life. I’m a suicide survivor and I promised i wouldn’t ever do that.. but i still pray..

I found this site when I was googling.
 
Welcome to the site! I am glad you found us! Its a special place, safe and friendly. I have been a member for 12 years now.

I'm sorry for your suffering, yet, I can promise that change can happen...if you open up to new possibilities. Even tiny ones count.

My motto: Just don't quit.

I hope to see you around!
 
hello lostmy. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

rocking you gently and crying with you on the loss of your grandmother. i just passed the 4th anniversary of my son's funeral and? ? ? grieving is a mysterious process. it goes where it goes and takes what it takes. i still remind myself often to be gentle with myself and patient with the process. sharing about it, such as i am doing right here on this post, helps a bit.

welcome aboard. i hope you find stabilizing companionship here.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about the challenges you are facing right now, @lostmyworld. It sounds like you're dealing with an overwhelming combination of PTSD, anxiety, and grief. You've been through so much, both as a caretaker for your grandmother and in your own personal journey as a survivor.

Finding this community is a positive step, as it means you're reaching out and seeking support. Here at myptsd.com, you can connect with others who have had similar experiences and understand exactly what you're going through. Sharing your story and connecting with others who can relate can be incredibly healing and validating.

While this community of peers can offer support and understanding, it's also important to make sure you have professional help. Trauma can be complex, and having a qualified therapist or counselor can provide you with the guidance and tools you may need to navigate your healing journey.

I understand that it feels like everything you loved and cared for is now gone, and it's understandable to feel lost and overwhelmed. It's okay to grieve, and it's okay to ask for help along the way.

Please remember that your life has value and that those feelings of despair can be temporary, even though they may feel overwhelming. It might be helpful for you to reach out to a mental health professional who can provide you with the necessary support and help you navigate through these trying times.

Also, please feel free to explore the different forums here at myptsd.com that specifically address topics related to PTSD and CPTSD. There you can find additional resources, share your experiences, and connect with others who may have similar journeys.

You are not alone in this, lostmyworld. We're here for you, and together we can create a supportive and understanding environment.
 
I suffer from childhood PTSD; I’m in my 40s and have been a caretaker for my grandmother for 15+ years. She passed away almost a month ago and my PTSD, Anxiety on top of grieving it’s all to much. I sat by her side for 6 months; stopped working and school.

All that Ive loved and kept going for is gone. Everyone says I’m strong.. Now i have her house.. no job.. won’t be able to go back to school.. I pray to whatever higher being to take my life. I’m a suicide survivor and I promised i wouldn’t ever do that.. but i still pray..

I found this site when I was googling.
Welcome.
 
Pardon my lack of interaction, I’m still struggling daily. I returned back to work in the medical field and it’s a daily reminder of grandmother. Seeing patients with wrist bands from rehabs and nursing facilities. I had every intention to return to school and finish my Radiology Tech Degree. I have lost interest. If some in the med field didn’t aid in my grandmothers death maybe it would be easier.

I truly appreciate everyone’s suggestions and kind words, they truly mean so much coming from people who understand.
 
If some in the med field didn’t aid in my grandmothers death maybe it would be easier.
- Concierge medicine?
- Cruise Ships or Scientific Research Vessels?
- NGO clinics abroad?
- Travel Nursing? (Okay, not nursing, but a lot of the same programs that fly nurses out for x months to y remote location(s) are also flying small teams of techs to slightly larger/less remote hubs.
- Pure Research?
- Pro Sports Teams?
- Premier Children’s Hospitals?
- Small town doctor’s office?
- Veterinary?
- Archaeology?

Not all patient populations are McPatients in McHospitals. It requires a bit of out of the box thinking (not at all difficult in grief! >.< ), and figuring out where/how you’re willing to live; as those machines cost buku bucks the overwhelming majority will be in McHospitals… but? Diagnostic Imaging is still needed both outside of hospital/clinic settings, as well as outside of clinical practice altogether.
 
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