Lost not much help. Hang on mind not good

AJ45

Confident
Ive tried so hard to get proper support and it just doesnt seem to exist. Things are getting worse and i dont have reasons to keep being here. With covid help is even more impossible and no way will i chance getting 5150d or go to hospital its not an option. I heard from a nurse "friend" a person she knew ended up sitting in ER hall for 2 days till they just released him cause no one is accepting patients. Leaves on pretty screwed have tried dr various times emailed twice two weeks ago no response she isnt helpful. Im so beyond lost in what to do i keep trying to function properly to only fail brain is so f*cked, health is screwed down to 105 lbs normal weight is like average 120. Head constantly hurts. Lymph nodes so out of whack but dr not helpful and dont trust her at this point or her referrals(issues in past with those). So screwed and done. Hanging feels like sleeping and way more comfortable than when a certain person choked me twice. I dont know anymore......seems should just allow to slip through cracks than constantly have to fight and advocate, for it to only be so beyond obsolete
 

woodsy1

MyPTSD Pro
Ive tried so hard to get proper support and it just doesnt seem to exist.
Tell me about it. No really, tell us all about it. Sometimes it helps just to get it all out.

I'll just say that I've been there.
Things are getting worse and i dont have reasons to keep being here. With covid help is even more impossible and no way will i chance getting 5150d or go to hospital its not an option. I heard from a nurse "friend" a person she knew ended up sitting in ER hall for 2 days till they just released him cause no one is accepting patients. Leaves on pretty screwed have tried dr various times emailed twice two weeks ago no response she isnt helpful. Im so beyond lost in what to do i keep trying to function properly to only fail brain is so f*cked, health is screwed down to 105 lbs normal weight is like average 120. Head constantly hurts. Lymph nodes so out of whack but dr not helpful and dont trust her at this point or her referrals(issues in past with those). So screwed and done.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Because I've been there. 6 years. 2 years straight curled up on my couch, could not function or interact with the world. Sucks!

Wait for the glimmer of light. Something comes to hold on to.
Hanging feels like sleeping and way more comfortable than when a certain person choked me twice.
I have not been through what you have. I can only imagine. But I've got a good imagination: I'm traumatized. You have every right to be angry. And confused.

It took me a while to allow myself to be angry. Then forgive.

I dont know anymore......seems should just allow to slip through cracks than constantly have to fight and advocate, for it to only be so beyond obsolete
It's ok to let go. Sometimes I just lay on my bed and let go of everything. Not that I've got a lot to hold on to anymore anyway. But I let go. If life breathes away then so be it. I let go.

Life continues. Friends help. I've found some here. I try to make new friends every day. Online of course. I'm not so vulnerable in person.

Welcome. While I am sad for what brings you here, I'm glad to meet you.

Let's sit a while.

Woodsy1
 

AJ45

Confident
Tell me about it. No really, tell us all about it. Sometimes it helps just to get it all out.

I'll just say that I've been there.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Because I've been there. 6 years. 2 years straight curled up on my couch, could not function or interact with the world. Sucks!

Wait for the glimmer of light. Something comes to hold on to.

I have not been through what you have. I can only imagine. But I've got a good imagination: I'm traumatized. You have every right to be angry. And confused.

It took me a while to allow myself to be angry. Then forgive.


It's ok to let go. Sometimes I just lay on my bed and let go of everything. Not that I've got a lot to hold on to anymore anyway. But I let go. If life breathes away then so be it. I let go.

Life continues. Friends help. I've found some here. I try to make new friends every day. Online of course. I'm not so vulnerable in person.

Welcome. While I am sad for what brings you here, I'm glad to meet you.

Let's sit a while.

Woodsy1
thank you for saying all this. I wish i could say more but so drained and turning whats in brain into sentences is stupidly challenging. Its hard when really nothing else.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
thank you for saying all this. I wish i could say more but so drained and turning whats in brain into sentences is stupidly challenging. Its hard when really nothing else.
It is hard when you've tried, and things aren't turning out and they just plain suck.....I'm sorry Covid it preventing you from accessing proper medical care. I have similar issues with doctors and getting proper med help.....
 

woodsy1

MyPTSD Pro
thank you for saying all this. I wish i could say more but so drained and turning whats in brain into sentences is stupidly challenging. Its hard when really nothing else.
I know. It sucks. But at least we can all chat about it. That helps me. Thanks for being there.
 
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