Hi Monica!
I too have complex PTSD. You don't give a lot of information (which is fine, you don't have to say anything if you can't face it yet) but I can certainly empathise with your lack of family and friends. It's a frightening, daunting, lonely place to be. But you CAN work your way out of it and feel human again. There's heaps of information and advice here. Just learning that your symptoms are not you going *mad* and understanding why they are happening can make such a difference. What you should do (as well as getting some professional help and support) is lurk around here a bit and realise there are a lot of people who feel the same. And no-one's going to judge your feelings, reactions, moods etc, because we've all been there. Welcome. I hope you start feeling a little better soon.