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Made t run late...now feel guilty

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PDH

Confident
I had a bit of a shocker today.

I had a bad flashback this morning before my appointment and went to therapy in a bit of a bad way. T helped ground me, and we started working through some stuff and doing parts work.

Towards the end of session, something in me let go and a memory came flooding back and I told her about it...as a result she ended up going 15 mins over time with me. I know she is incredibly busy and all I can think about is how this would have set off a chain reaction of being late for the rest of her day.

I'm usually conscious of keeping an eye on the time and bringing myself back to topics that are safe, but I don't know what happened today. I'm feeling really bad and guilty about it, and have this urge to email her and apologise.

Has anyone else felt like this? Do I email and apologise or just sit with this guilt I'm feeling?
 
How about working on letting go of the guilt?

You didn’t force your T to stay with you. She made the decision to give you extra time because you were struggling and needed extra support. I’m sure she’d do the same for any of her clients. Yes, it’s good to stay on schedule, but life doesn’t permit that at all times as things happen.

Maybe instead of apologizing, you could email her and express gratitude for the extra help she gave you today. As I see it, you have nothing to apologize for. Hugs.
 
You could consider doing neither of those.

I shoe horses for a living. I have a schedule, much like a T does. I try to allow plenty of time between appointments. Sometimes, something happens and I get behind. I try not to stress about it. My goal is to give 100% to the client I'm with at the time. I let people know, "today, I was late because of someone else's horse, next time I might be late because of yours." That's life.

Chances are your T schedules in such a way it wasn't a big deal. Apologize if you want, but it wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. That kind of thing happens.
 
I hope you communicate to her that you are feel guilty. Let her help you know that it’s undeserved. Because it is undeserved.

It’s not your job to manage her time and boundaries, and you are making a lot of assumptions that it disrupted her day. It may not have done that. If it did, that may not even actually even really be your business, it’s her job to manage her time. Not yours. :)
 
Don't even worry about it...I mean it. I am a therapist and it is our job to keep time and address urgencies. While it does set off a chain...its part of the job. I am also a co-dependent client so watch the clock more than my therapist...have actually said..."well out time is about up...so..." Relax and take a deep breath....its all good. No worries
 
I know she is incredibly busy and all I can think about is how this would have set off a chain reaction of being late for the rest of her day.

Has anyone else felt like this?

I think that you are blessed with a truly good therapist who took care of you and that I understand your feeling guilty and you can tell her that if you need to, but really to thank her for this is better in my opinion. Take good care of you and get some rest and hope that you can sleep good without any nightmares.
 
Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your reply's.
They have helped to shift some of the guilt I was feeling earlier...but I still feel the need to say something.

I'm about to hit send on this....

"I just want to say thank you for today.
In the past I've often found myself conscious of trying to build all my walls again well before a session is over - true to form, being self reliant.
Something shifted today. The walls were way down and I wasn't as conscious of the need to build them again, and as terrible as the timing was, that memory came to the surface. It wasn't until after I said it that I realised the weight of it and how much I needed to share it.

I appreciate you staying in that moment with me today."

Thoughts?
 
My old t once gave me a sheet about justified guilt vs unjustified guilt. This is definitely unjustified. And I get it. We, as trauma victims, are used to feeling guilty just for existing. But you are worthy of support and care and PRIORITY when it’s needed. And your t is there to support you and looks like she showed up. Your responsibilities are for your own actions, not everyone else’s. She can manage her own time just fine, you don’t need to look after her in that way. No apology is necessary but if it makes you feel better to send an email then send away.
 
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