MDD Major depressive disorder

[Polyfractal]

I have been seeing my psychiatrist in 2017, I was seeing him with my head looking down completely, I never looked at his face during the entire session with him. I was in deep depression, because of my chronic trauma and abuse history. There was another time a psychiatric nurse came to my home by emergency, I was looking down completely during the entire time with him. I was sitting at the corner of my bed. He commented that he never seen anyone as traumatized as me during his entire 15 years of career.

I collapsed at the hospital's corridor, waiting an appointment for my psychiatrist. I was sitting on the ground, with both of my legs bent sideways, holding my other upper arm tightly and looking down completely for an hour. I was crying loudly. There was a nurse who came to my side and said that she hears my hurt and pain and asked me whether I need a teddy.

 

[somerandomguy]

Did you take the teddy?

 

[Polyfractal]

Did you take the teddy?

No, I didn't speak and look up the entire time.

 

[somerandomguy]

Always take the teddy!

Congratulations to you for getting out of your major depression. It's very difficult, but you did the work.

I also don't think what that psych nurse said to you was very helpful. No one ever wants to be thought of as "the worst" anything.

 

[Rose White]

I almost never looked at my T when talking about my childhood abuse, even up to the end of therapy after five years. It was involuntary. Sometimes as an exercise for myself I would try and maybe look at her head or her knees. My T said it didn’t matter if I looked at her or even had my eyes open because my body heard my voice.

 

[joeylittle]

@Polyfractal - is there a particular aspect of MDD that you wanted to discuss with the other members here?

 

[Polyfractal]

@Polyfractal - is there a particular aspect of MDD that you wanted to discuss with the other members here?

I have added more details to my journal entry.